Tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing

I've traveled East and West and now I'm back again . . .

2009-12-18T18:05:26Z

HOME! God, I could get all cliche-y and talk about "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" and "who says you can't go home?" but the truth is, I really, really am glad to be home. I was so happy to see my parents (who came to pick me up at the airport and my mother thought nothing of holding up an entire line of people to hug me when I got through customs). I forgot how beyond-ridiculously-comfortable my bed is (especially when one has been sleeping on mattresses that resemble plywood for a year) and seeing street signs all in English is really freaking weird. Also, no motorcycles.

So yes, it's lovely to be home. Now, to tackle unpacking.

Rhino does not, in fact, mean the same thing as wino . . .

2009-12-15T12:51:40Z

Glorious Leader does not love Facebook, so you get all my crappy updates on here.

Currently, I am in the hostel, listening to fifteen-to-twenty drunk Aussies butcher "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" for free drinks. I already got my free beer, bitches - leading a round of "Up on the Housetop" with the girl from New Zealand in the bunk next to me. The Indian guy we met does a decent "Jingle Bells", too.

Much love, guys. Home in two days.

bluerosefairy @ 2009-12-13T14:18:00

2009-12-13T07:18:34Z

Made it to Vietnam, guys. As soon as I'm home and have regular computer access, I'll post the pictures and the full report, but I'm here and haven't been killed by either the motorcycles or the Communists yet.

Much love for the well-wishes, too. *hugs*

Your whole life is here, but you find you want to leave . . .

2009-12-11T12:42:20Z

Ohgod ohgod ohgod.

T minus 5 hours and counting. I have my e-ticket and my visa and my passport and my photos, but the stupid web-checkin for Vietnam Airlines is not working. I really, really want to have my boarding pass because it'd maybe stop me from panicking that I'm going to miss the flight.

And I have the bus to Incheon to catch, by myself, with three things of luggage at 3:30 am in fucking Siji, which has the Worst Taxi Drivers in the World. They are insufferable bastards who refuse to drive foreigners most of the time, and bitch at you for wanting a cab from Sinmae down to the Foreigner Ghetto, which is ONLY seven blocks. I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to walk that with Emart bags or something.

And the bus info was only in Korean, so I had to have Jenny get me departure times and prices, and I am still kind of worrying that the bus is going to go right by and not pick me up, or that I'll be on the wrong side of the street.

So yes. Mild levels of panicking going on. Leaving home was not this stressful, I swear to God. Of course, leaving home didn't involve me dealing with everything from the visas to money to packing to transportation by myself.

Flist love

2009-12-08T08:54:37Z

Much love for the virtual gifts, gang! Thanks must go to the ever-so-fabulous recrudescence, smercy, heavenly_rain, and ciudad.

He's too busy having a Morgasm . . .

2009-12-05T19:29:25Z

I can haz a recrudescence!

I have hijacked her pajama pants and her ethernet, but I can haz. We hauled ass around Seoul - and managed to get ourselves from Seoul Station to Myeong-dong without running into a subway stop along the way. We had yummy Mexican food and margaritas at On the Border, and spent most of dinner talking CM, our crazy students, and what we missed/are looking forward to about home in the States. We headed to a club in Hongik (the same area, you'll recall, we holed up the last time we were in Seoul), and it was totally one of the best times I've had in a long time.

The first club we hit was crappy and crowded way beyond its capacity. The second one, though, was fabulous - good drinks (and this cute Aussie boy with dreads and a bunch of chains on bought me a jack and coke), good crowd, amazing bands. I have now seen Korean punk rock performed live, and the last band of the night was an American cover band. Sounded sort of like Green Day, and they covered CCR, Neil Young, the Kinks, Jimi Hendrix (oh my GOD, I have never heard a better cover of "Fire", and I have never sung along so loudly), and Black Sabbath. The crowd went nuts, and I spent a good two hours in a half-mosh pit half dance floor, booty-shaking like there was no tomorrow.

We were about to hop in a cab home (with an awesome sausage-type thing I bought from a street vendor) when the driver started to get totally skeezy and demand 30.000 won to go from Hongik to Kongkuk, in advance, with the meter starting at 3,000 instead of 2,200. We got out, walked a block, and then got a cab for 18.000, with the meter starting where it should start. Along the way, Em was so tired, while she was talking about a CM story she's thinking of, apparently, Reid is capable of "Morgasms". This does not even take into account the dramatic reading she performed of a certain kinkmeme story when we got back to her apartment.

Which is where we currently are. She is watching S1 Criminal Minds and cooing over baby!Hotch and Reid's slicked-back hair and grandpa sweaters while I am catching up on LJ and reciting macros at her. It is stupid o'clock, though, so I really should crash soonish.

Look at me, look at me, driving and I won't stop . . .

2009-11-17T06:26:17Z

TWENTY THREE DAYS OH MY GOD. I AM GOING HOME IN 23 DAYS. OH MY GOD, I HAVE PACKING AND SHIPPING-STUFF AND VACATIONING IN VIETNAM TO BE PLANNING FOR. OHGOD.

God, Mad Men was a roller-coaster of crazy this year.

- Oh my god, look at that alarm clock. My grandfather had one exactly like it.

- Eeek, McCann's buying PPL too? Ugh, not on.

- Ouch. Listen to that passive aggressive annoyance - “you come and go as you please”. Don, sweetie, you're not Conrad Hilton. You had it good for fifteen years, having no contract, nothing binding you anywhere – but then you have to grow up. You're Sterling-Coop now, and what happens to them happens to you. Deal with it.

- Don Draper's Father Issues, let us show you them. While yes, Hilton is Lord King Douchenozzle, I highly doubt he spun that entire “son” business just to tap into Don's many and glaring Daddy Issues. It was just business.

- Look, foreshadowing. Daddy Whitman stood up for the individual against the cooperative farmers; shame the theme doesn't quite translate into a white-collar business like advertising.

- That is a fantastic scene between Don and Bert Cooper – the way they speak each other's language, and Don finally starts looking like the creative firebrand he's supposed to be. And Cooper's right, you wanna save this company, Don, leave your petty spats out of the business and talk to Roger. You need him and the company needs him.

- Oh, Roger. Darling. Manipulative Bastard looks so good on you. “What, you came running to me because I look like I've got a golden pork chop swinging from my neck? No, I want to see what you look like with your tail between your legs.”

- Hah, Cooper telling Roger in so many words he's impotent. Nice one.

- Okay, just because I have a basis in history and understand the prevailing male mindset of the 1960's doesn't mean I don't want to bash Don Draper over the head. Shut your piehole, Don. Betty is a grown woman, she's college-educated, and she can file for divorce if she damn well pleases. She tried to make it work through the infidelity, through the lies and the walking-out, and now that she knows your secret, she is absolutely justified in running for the nearest divorce attorney.

- Betty, what the hell? Stop it. Stop running right into the control of another man who thinks he can own you. Look, I know your options are limited and society's going to shun you, but really, you couldn't wait six months to establish yourself as a single entity?

- Aha, Lane. Seriously, you know no one tells you anything. Are you honestly that shocked that St. John hasn't told you PPL is actually for sale?

- Oh, Don. Sleeping in Sally's room again.

- Aaah, so that's how the original Mr. Whitman met his demise – kicked by a horse while drunk. Considering he was abusive as well, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

- And so the conspiracy begins. I was spoiled for the formation of SCDP back when the ep first aired, but I love how well they work together. Cooper admitting he can't do what Pryce does. Roger wisecracking on Pryce and Don wanting everyone to negotiate. I do like them and their questionably legal plans for takeover.

- “Well, gentlemen. I suppose you're fired.” Oh Lane. Master of the obvious.

- Wow, he goes for Pete right away, interesting. But obviously, the first one he pitches to is Peggy, his girl. Just perfect.

- . . . Don, you idiot. You ask your superstar creative girl if she wants to join your agency, or else she's going to get pissed off that you're treating her the way everyone else does. “I don't want to make a career out of getting kicked when you fail.” Oh, Peggy, sweetheart. Good for you.

- Pete Campbell and his Daddy Issues, let us show you them. He has to hear it from Don, because Don's the one whose approval he needs. And Jesus, Don, you couldn't have been this truthful and praising of Peggy, who you need just as much as Pete?

- Ohhh, Campbells. I continue to be surprisingly charmed by your crazy marriage.

- Don and Roger, ohhh, boys. The bromantic drinking and cigars are back. We missed you two.

- Oh, fuck you Don. You do not get to bitch about Betty's almost-affair that you can't even prove when you've had yourself at least five mistresses in three years. You do not get to ride around on your high horse and call Betty a Main Line bitch when you can't get over your own bigotry. You do not get to threaten her or try to take your kids or ever, EVER call her a whore. Fuck you.

- Aww, I do like that it's Bert who thought of Harry, and oh my god, Cooper is a genius: “Mr. Crane, Harry. If you turn us down and elect to become a mid-level cog at McCann-Ericson, we're going to have to lock you in the storeroom until morning. I know you understand.”

- OH MY GOD ROGER. CALL WHO I HOPE YOU'RE CALLING.

- Sally Draper, poor girl. You are going to need so much therapy when you're older.

- Shallow note, Jon Hamm, please continue with the half-country-club, half-Madison Ave look. Totally GQMF.

- Yes, Don, that's right. Go see Peggy and apologize like your life depends on it, because with all the shit she puts up with from you, she deserves it. And I am trying like hell not to ship these two any more than I already do, but when his marriage is falling apart and it's his fault and he's probably going to lose his job and he's gambling it all on one last-ditch effort – he goes to her, because he knows she'll understand. And it's only when they're on her turf that he can be completely honest with her; that they're so much alike he forgets she's not actually a part of him. If she turns him down, he'll spend the rest of his life trying to hire her no matter what.

- JOANNIE. YES! And speaking of shippery, my love for Joan/Roger and Joan/Don (“Joan. What a good idea.”) is still strong.

- Damn, Don. Your door-kicking is pretty damn cool.

- “Peggy, can you get me some coffee?” “No.” Damn straight you don't get Roger coffee, Peggy.

- Oh, Joannie, right back into managing everything for everyone.

- “YOU'RE FIRED FOR LACK OF CHARACTER!” “Very good. Happy Christmas!” Oh, Lane, you're one of us. Welcome to the Sterling-Coop family.

- “Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, how may I help you?” CMOA. That is all.

- Call Sal, you morons. You need an art director . . . Okay, fine, be an idiot and call Betty, Don. Though he was less of a jerkface than usual.

- Oh, Trudy. I hope they keep her around; she keeps Pete honest and intelligent and a lot less of a complete jackass.

- “In the future, you will find the love that lasts.” Nice musical cue there, as Betts goes to Reno with Henry Francis and Don goes to the Roosevelt.

I wasn't sure how much I'd like this one. I still am torn between "meh episode, stop chewing the scenery, Tennant" and "oh, wow, THAT is how you do a Doctor gone completely off the rails".

- I couldn't hear a thing during the initial webcam phone call thing between Lindsay Duncan and her daughter. Anything important?

- Is it just me or is Ten's whole “oh, look at the cute little humans, building a base on Mars” condescension getting really fucking old? I don't know why it's bothering me – usually I don't find that aspect of the Doctor that bad. It certainly isn't the first time it's happened, and it's not like Tennant's the only Doctor to do it, but it's just seriously working my nerves. I kind of want to grab a two by four, smack him upside the head, and go “not all of us are nine-hundred-mumble year old Time Lords with a superiority complex the size of the Medusa Cascade”. God, I miss Donna. She would've done it for me.

- Very good, Lindsay Duncan (why I don't just call her Adelaide, I don't know). I'd be pointing a gun at the Doctor, too, if he showed up on my interplanetary base acting like he does.

- Dude, did makeup take the month off? Not that he's ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but Tennant's looking seriously unkempt. No foundation, no hair product – or, possibly, too much hair product – and some spectacular black circles under the eyes.

- Hee! I like tech boy! “To the right, to the left . . . I think it's funny.” I do appreciate deadpan snarkers who don't take shit from the Doctor.

- The Filipinos are building a rocket? And the Spanish? Um, okay. I don't think I buy that, but whatever.

- Oh, no. NO, gardener chick, do not go near the slumped-over yet still curiously upright coworker when you are alone on an alien planet. This NEVER works out well. Oh, ick, water monsters with slavering teeth and drippy sounds. Thanks, Rusty.

- Ahahaha, “Independents” and the Doctor's usually wearing a brown coat. My inner Browncoat just punched the air.

- Bowie! Oh, that's fabulous. And upon freeze-framing the news story, the long-haired surly guy is Edward, the awesome tech boy is Roman, the ponytailed woman is probably Steffie, and the Asian girl is probably Mia. We already know goofy Yuri, and I'm guessing the other guy is Dr. Ital (and seriously, whoever named him? I'm hoping you're aware of the DS9 in-joke).

- Alas, poor redshirts, it's nice to know your names now that you've been killed by water monsters – Margaret and Andrew.

- Oh, interesting. Adelaide's parents died in the “Dalek invasion of 2008”, did they? Which one?

- Wow, guys, thanks for the expository introductions there. Good to see I was right. Also, a nice representation of the world population, but you all FAIL at language. An Englishwoman, an Aussie, a Pakistani, a Russian, a German, an American guy (dude, no freaking way, that kid is more Canadian by way of London than American), and an American girl (oh, come on, you couldn't have made her actually Asian?). And the two redshirts were an American and a Brit. Shame all of them sound as British as David Tennant does.

- . . . okay, fine. The attractive Aussie actually sounds like he might be from Australia. Too bad the monster's about to start picking them all off.

- Oh, yes. The Doctor would have issues with talking robots. Either they're trying to kill him, like the Daleks and the Cybermen, or they've been taken away from him, like K9. “Oh, well, dogs – that's different.” Ten.

- Ohhh, Adelaide. I love that you love space travel and exploration and believe that the sacrifice of your entire life to get to Mars was worth it.

- It's good to see Edward upholding the William T. Riker grand tradition of running off like a hero to save people when he's supposed to be the one in charge and thus indispensable. And it's even better to see Captain Adelaide tell him to shove the heroics up his ass and get the hell back to his post.

- Okay, the German woman totally has a Welsh accent. She's supposed to be from Inshelm! *bangs language-related part of brain against nearest wall*

- A few people have said this, but I think I have to echo it. Can I just get a “hell yeah” for this competent, level-headed, professional team who are absolutely the kind of people you'd send on a mission to a completely alien planet? They don't panic! They're good at their jobs and they don't try to do each other's!

- Last language-related bitchery, I swear. At least the Russian has a halfway-decent Russian accent. It's not perfect, but it's Eastern European bloc, it works.

- Twenty bucks says Dr. Nothing is the next victim. And, ding ding ding, we have a winner.

- Aww, Yuri's brother and his husband and the story of the car. Very adorable, except for the convulsing, dripping bag of crazy behind you that used to be your scientist, Yuri.

- Ew, nice water monsters, Rusty. Almost on par with Moffat's level of Nightmare Fuel.

- “Don't drink the water.” *falls over laughing* I knew it was coming. I know it's a smart order, and the line had to be said sooner or later, but it's just funny.

- Ohgod. The fact that Roman is connected to Gadget and the Doctor's sonic-ing is shorting Roman out too? Total Nightmare Fuel Unleaded. Oh my god, I am never going to be able to look at that screwdriver the same way. Augh, and he's just screaming.

- Anyone else getting hinked-out the way Edward's staring at Margaret? Possibly there was a prior connection and he's just angry at seeing her like this, but seriously, it's weirding me out.

- “Nice to know I'm good for something, now and again.” Aw, I like Edward. I like how he knows how to handle Adelaide.

- So the Dalek invasion was the one from “The Stolen Earth”. Interesting. Why Adelaide would be connected to that and why the Dalek left her alone doesn't make sense. “Dalek” already made us question the humanity of the Daleks and told us that the Doctor destroying Skaro and Gallifrey was genocide. Why is it important that this companion, Adelaide Brooke, was spared by the Daleks?

- . . . oh. Now I get it. From Adelaide, the first person on Mars, to Susie Fontana Brooke, the first lightspeed pilot, to the generations who will follow. They're the first human beings most other species will meet, and they all take their mission, their love of exploration, their peaceful nature, from Adelaide herself. This is what the Daleks spared. They made it possible for humanity to explore the stars. And Rusty is never, ever, going to capitalize on this, is he? This is all going to be about the Doctor's emo manpain at being the last of the Time Lords, having to preserve the timeline even though it'll kill Adelaide and the entire team.

- Also, it is no coincidence that Adelaide's granddaughter is named Susie, is it? Nice one, guys.

- Team! Competent team! Who keep their heads and do their jobs! I approve. And Captain Adelaide, keeping everyone on track in spite of the water monsters trying to get through ten feet of steel directly above their heads. Oh, I love awesome teams, have I mentioned that?

- Hah, I love that Adelaide lets the Doctor do his slow, angst-ridden walk out to the airlock and put on his spacesuit, then refuses to let him out until he tells her what really happens to the Mars mission.

- Lovely callback to S4, guys, but guess what? It wasn't just the almighty Doctor in Pompeii on Volcano Day. It was Donna Noble, ordinary human temp Donna Noble, who stood with her hand on that lever and took half the responsibility on herself. She made Pompeii happen, too.

- Fine, one measly mention of why the Dalek spared Adelaide: because her death is “fixed” in time. Seriously, that's what you take out of that story? That death is the moral of the story?

- “Damn you”, and she opens the airlock. Captain, I salute you. Well played.

- God, I don't know why I'm shocked. Of course he just sits there and listens to them die. Of course it's all about what happens when Time demands that the Doctor stand by and watch. I just wish it came off better – it feels cheap. All about Tennant's angst and emo manpain. And it should be heartwrenching not because of him, but because of those six good, smart, competent people who are dying and have to die for mankind to reach the stars.

- Oh, and she listens to her daughters' message before she's going to die. Okay, you got me with that one, Rusty. And they just start dropping like flies. Steffi. Roman. Edward (which, augh, no, I like him the most besides Adelaide).

- Oh, no, no, Edward auto-destructs the shuttle, so they're never going to get off the planet. And he has to, that's the bitch of it, he can't let Earth be infected, so he makes sure it won't.

- “I'm not just a Time Lord, I'm the last of the Time Lords”. No, no you're not, you insufferable twat. You ARE just a Time Lord, because you've become everything you ran from, everything that you once thought contemptible about the Time Lords. Five thousand years, isn't it? Isn't that what it takes to become completely corrupt? And you're just like them – preserving the timeline at all costs, standing an watching as Pompeii (as Gallifrey) burns, with unimaginable hubris, because you think you've got it all figured out.

- Oh, and there he goes. Coming back just in the nick of time. Of course he does, because he's the Doctor, and he may be a pompous hubristic idiot, but he's our pompous, hubristic idiot. Nice music cue too, Murray – someone tell me if it's “All the Strange, Strange Creatures” or “This is Gallifrey”?

- And just for Em and I's record-keeping, when the Doctor comes back to save the Mars base? Blue halo of backlight. Bright, bright, almost-blinding blue. Alien-as-logic, as savior.

- Wait, so the Doctor knows who's going to be knocking four times?

- And seriously, Rusty, could your woman issues GET any bigger? Adelaide's been more than an equal to the Doctor the entire episode. She has been strong and brilliant and extremely good at what she does for a living. She calls the Doctor on his bullshit. Remind you of anyone? And what does she do when you want to give the Doctor his big moment of heroism? Turns into scared, whining female, all “we can't fight them!” and “we'll never get out of here!” and “but you said we'd die!”. STOP IT. You do not have to turn your female lead into a useless weakling to make your hero look good.

- “Yes, but there are laws! Laws of time and there were people in charge of them. And they died, they all died! And that just leaves me. It's taken me a long time to realize it, but the Laws of Time are mine, and they will obey me!” . . . so that's it, Doctor. That's what it takes to turn you into the Master? Just one simple fixed point in time where everyone has to die, and you think you're God? And that's what you get for tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing – knocked away from the controls by a bolt of red energy. This is the universe telling you to quit laying claim to a legacy that you can't control. You aren't the Master, the man who can make people obey. You're the Doctor, the man who makes people better. Remember that?

- You're going to take on Time itself and win? Oh, Doctor, you're really forgetting your history here. You were Time's champion once, and I don't think she'll forgive the betrayal.

- Scary, manic, hubristic Doctor, looking for all the world like the universe's most frightening puppetmaster. Turning harmless robots into extensions of your own meddling impulses? Did you forget the Toclafane, Doctor? From storybook boogeyman to literal boogeyman. Oh, but that's right, you can ride your bike with no handlebars. And the Master can keep rhythm with no metronome. And you can split the atoms of a molecule. Does it have to escalate to a holocaust for you to GET that you've gone too far?

- This is not going to end well, don't you know that? You think you've got all the answers, you think you can push the galactic reset button again and it's just going to be okay? There are consequences, and I am praying that “End of Time” will address said consequences of using the universe as your own personal Do-Over.

- It makes me unspeakably sad that Adelaide couldn't even choose her own death. She knew what had to be done – the base had to be destroyed, she and the others were probably already infected – and she made a choice. And the Doctor cancels it out, just like that, because he “knows best”. What fucking hubris. Fuck you, Rusty. Your white male heroes do not know what's best for everyone else.

- NO, Doctor, no one is going to thank you. You know why? Because sometimes people don't need to be saved. Sometimes the humans can't handle the TARDIS, they're frightened by its impossibility, and that's not a bad thing. And Adelaide's right, no one should have that much power. Remember, Doctor, you know you'd make a very bad god, and if your ninth self could see this, he'd be horrified.

- You're the “winner”? There is no winner in genocide! You are really, really starting to sound like the Master, and you need to stop it right the fuck now, Ten.

- Yes, that's right, Doctor. The little Earth woman defied you. She knew her destiny, and that was that Adelaide Brooke died on November 21st, 2059. Some things in history are fixed and cannot be changed. Adelaide Brooke died so Susie Fontana Brooke would fly at lightspeed. If it wasn't Susie someone else would have flown that ship, but Adelaide makes it so it was. Yes, Doctor, you have gone too far, and it's too late. Someone has to hold you accountable. Judging by the trailer, I think the Master's decided he's going to be the one to do it.

Augh, with all that male douchebaggery running around, I need to go watch that clip of JJ whacking the UnSub with the shovel a few times to get my blood pressure back down.

Went to the tower where I heard church bells chime/I hoped that they would clear my mind . . .

2009-10-25T08:01:41Z

*drags self out of the depths of the internets*

Hello, gang. Been slightly-MIA due to extreme lack of computer and various work-related stuff. Starting with the fact that absolutely no one besides my two co-teachers (Jim and Chris) and I knew I was leaving in December. I booked my post-Korea vacation last week (a week in Vietnam! I am SO PSYCHED!) and since my return flight is included in my contract, I wanted to arrange for it to be included in my last paycheck. Imagine my shock - and my director and AD's shock - when I found out that James (the hiring director, who isn't based out of Siji anymore; he's down in Bongduk at another SEI branch) never told anyone that I was only working a four-month contract.

So there was a bit of a kerfluffle, and I've been ass-deep in paperwork, writing down class procedure and contact info and move-out dates and it's kind of hitting me that oh holy god, I'm going home in less than two months. It's a bit terrifying, to be honest, because I've gotten kind of autopilot-y, working and hanging out with the KTs and Jim and Chris and PCbanging on weekends and being really lazy, and it's almost been kind of a year-long vacation. And now I have to go home, which, don't get me wrong, I'm really excited for because I miss my parents and my friends and family. But I have to get a job back home, and an apartment, and it's just going to be weird.

And yes, one of the first things I intend on doing is to eat large quantities of all the food I've been missing (chicken parm sandwiches! real pizza! Chinese food! turkey! french fries!). I'll probably gain back all the weight I've lost in a week. Oh well, totally worth it.

Also - HI to all of the new friends from various new fannish loves. I promise I'm mildly entertaining when I have actual computer access on a regular basis.

A day late and 1,000 won short

2009-09-12T09:57:27Z

Laptop is probably busted for good. Will probably need to buy completely new computer. Anyway, in honor of yesterday's date:

Something Just Broke (from Assassins).

Ignore the assassination-related lyrics, like I do. This song reminds me so much of being 15 and piling into Erin's brother's car, because SEPTA was shut down, all major roads were closed, Broad Street was at a standstill, and we'd been sent home. Sitting in my living room with my parents, Brooke, and Erik Brown, watching the footage they wouldn't show us in school (ooh, Central caught hell for that one). Funnily enough, I remember the one-year anniversary memorial much more clearly. I can remember being in Romoff's Social Science class, and spending half the period watching the footage and the other half debating about Congress and concluding they'd be stupid to authorize the invasion of Iraq (god, talk about hindsight being 20/20).

She lives, she breathes, she walks, she talks

2009-08-25T13:46:16Z

I hate my computer. I had a huge-ass entry typed up, all laid out in a coherent manner, and then my mousepad freezes up again (that's the latest fun thing my laptop has decided to do to me) and causes my computer to reboot, and I lost the entire damn thing. Let's hope I can recreate it.

So, the reason I've been MIA for the past month or so? Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Apologies to Jordan, Steve, Kevin, Emily, and Em for dealing with my drive-by semi-coherent freakouts. Sorry you're about to get deluged with the story again.

It started last month, in the middle of July. My school, ILS, had been going through serious financial issues - and those were the issues we *knew* about. Brett and I had only ever found anything out about what was going on through rumor and outright confrontation with Enoch, the director. So a few weeks into July, Enoch calls me and Brett into his office for a meeting - and tells us he's closing the school. We're slightly-freaked out, slightly-elated, because while it means finding new jobs, it means No More Kindergarden. So okay, we go through the hassle and the paperwork of changing our visas and researching new jobs. And then there's another meeting - the school isn't closing. Anne is stepping in and taking over the management of the school because Enoch knows nothing about running a school and Ally is pregnant and can't put the crazy hours in anymore.

Anne's a member of Enoch and Ally's church and she's apparently on a mission from God. She's got a plan for a new schedule, new classes, new curriculum, etc, and no more Korean co-teachers. This pisses Brett and I off more than slightly. We've already been working 38 classes a week, teaching kindergarden (which neither of us signed up for, nor did we ever want to teach) and elementary kids every day, and that's *with* two Korean co-teachers to handle the other 30 classes, evaluations, and parental contact. But okay, we can deal, we've got to. A week goes by in which we come up with a brand new schedule, redistributing the classes, planning new and better ways to teach the wretched kindergardeners - and it's rejected outright by the parents. If you've ever taught in Korea, you know you saw that coming. Because god forbid we restructure their little darlings into classes that are age AND level-appropriate and change the way things are done.

So Anne comes and Anne goes and one day we're absolutely closing, and the next we're totally staying open, and we're up to the last week in July, summer break. I walk out of ILS on Friday having been assured that yes, we're still going to be open for business, and Enoch's sister-in-law is taking the school over, and she's run a school before, and she's got plans for the school, etc, etc, etc.

Three guesses what I come back to on Monday of the first week in August?

Yes, that's right - school's closing, and because of my visa provisions, I've got a week to come up with either a new job or I have to pack it all up and go home. No severence pay, a week to get my entire apartment in order by myself, cancel my bills and wipe my bank accounts legally. Cue the massive amounts of panic. There's very little chance of my being able to get another job - no school wants to hire a teacher who's got 4 months left on her contract, it's hell on the paperwork. Enoch, to his credit, made some calls and pulled some strings and got me in contact with a few schools who were willing to at least talk to me. But with each interview, it's looking grimmer and grimmer. School #1 wants to cut my salary by .5 million. School #2 is only looking for a two-month interim teacher. Schools #3 and #4 are strictly kindergardens. School #5 wants me to put in 40-hour workweeks with no prep time. School #6 is in a crappy part of town and the director is skeeving me out. School #7's director doesn't even speak English and his school's only been open for 6 months.

It's Saturday, I'm pretty much resigned to crawling home a complete and total failure, I feel like crap, I don't know how I'm going to get my apartment packed up in only 3 suitcases, and the phone rings. It's James from SEI, he's sorry he didn't get a hold of me earlier, but one of his native teachers just pulled a runner, and could I come in right away for an interview? Now, the fact that he was completely up front about his teacher pulling a runner surprised me - you're pretty much admitting that one of your employees hated working there so much that he hopped a plane and skipped out on his contract - but his honesty and the fact that he spoke fluent East-Coast-accented English made me pop some Tylenol and go over to Shinmae Stn to meet him. He walks me a block over to the school - it's not as nice as ILS, but it's been open since 2003, and it's still growing. It's part of a franchise, but the biggest branch, with 8 Korean teachers, 3 native teachers, an asst. director, and James himself.

James is not only willing to hire me for a 4 month contract - he's willing to negotiate on salary, benefits, and plane fare after the contract's up. This is a hell of a safety net, and I signed the contract that day. Took a cut of only .1 mil on salary, full benefits, and a schedule of 30 classes a week, NO KINDERGARDEN. SEI doesn't even teach them. I moved out of my old apartment in Suseong-gu on Sunday, into the new apartment in Siji, and managed to fit 3 suitcases, a huge linen bag, and a washbasket into James's teeny-tiny Kia. My new apartment is a 15 min walk from the school/EMart/most anything I'd want to go to, and yeah, it's a pain, but it's bigger! It has a television! And a chair! And a laundry rack! (Yes, Emily, that does mean I've graduated from drying my clothes on the floor)

I've been at SEI for two weeks, and I adore it. I love my coteachers - Jim and Chris - who are total dorkfaces and really, really supportive of the annoying younger girl asking their sage advice. I love my KT's, all of them, who treat me like a normal person and invite me places and go with me for dinner and drinks. I love James and Amy (the asst. director) who put up with my slightly-offbeat way of teaching (look, dancing is a part of stretching, and we're supposed to be learning the parts of the body, therefore, Girls Generation is going to be employed) and disorganized self. I love my kids, even William with anger issues, Luis the walking disaster, Amy the Gossip Girl in training, Sarah who's decided she's my new BFF, and Charles the bisexual 12 year old who'd rather flirt with Kevin than pay attention to the conversation class.

And you guys - I get to teach Les Miserables! How cool is that?!

So yes, doing better. Further apologies for the drive-by flailage and disappearing. Four months and counting.

And he's peeling off them dollar bills and slapping them down . . .

2009-08-13T13:31:36Z

Hello, gang. Been incommunicado lately due to real-life craziness that I swear, I will update you all about soon. But I need to get something off my chest.

Everyone screaming and pitching fits over the proposed national health-care system? Chill the fuck out and quit listening to Sarah Palin. The government does not want to take away your healthcare to give it to illegal immigrants, it does not want to form "death panels" to exterminate anyone, and it sure as hell doesn't want to cut Medicaid completely. It is absolutely possible for a government to create a national health care system - and not only that, it is utterly necessary.

There are a known 45.7 million Americans without health care. I'm one of them. When I come back to the U.S., I will have zero health insurance coverage. Is it possible to get individual coverage? Only if I want to take out a loan to pay for it. Fewer and fewer companies are paying for their employees health benefits because insurance rates are sky-high. If I get sick, injured, or god forbid, even just want to get fucking quality birth control without an interrogation, I will be either denied treatment or charged thousands of dollars. With a national healthcare system (called "single-payer"), options can be opened. People could choose their doctor based on other criteria than "will they accept my insurance" (because the answer is nearly always "no").

A single-payer healthcare system is a reality for many countries. It can and will work in America. This website can tell you anything you need to know.

As you were.

I'll take Who-induced fangirl squee for $1000, Alex

2009-07-28T10:03:41Z

MOTHERFUCKING END OF TIME TRAILER

With the Tate and the blonde!Simm and the Dalton VO and the "My name is the Master" and OH MY GOD. I swear, I think I know what they might be going for, because Rusty is evil like that.

Based on the new "Waters of Mars" trailer, that "knock four times" sounds like the clomp of Cybermen. But in the new "End of Time" trailer, we see that it's going to involve nightmares and dreams and things not being what they seem. The blonde!SimmMaster in the hoodie is, I believe, a manifestation of the Doctor's subconscious - his Jacob Marley or Ghost of Gallifrey Past, guiding him through the nightmares. But he's also behind the latest crisis, allied with the Cybermen and with a confirmed-by-RTD returning Alexandra Moen as Lucy Saxon. Fandom is going to do a collective fist-pump if it turns out her shooting the Master in "Last of the Time Lords" actually was a Xanatos Roulette set up to bring him back if the Doctor happened to defeat him.

The thing returning through the dark might be, I hope I hope I really fucking hope, Gallifrey, which, in tandem with the dreamscapeyness, could open the door for a Romana or Rani cameo (which will make me do fucking backflips like you would not believe). If we don't get some flashbacks to the Time War (which is a possibility, because Moffat isn't in favor of showing it, so Rusty might have decided to throw fandom a bone in his last special, and we all know Tennant's a big giant fanboy), I'd settle for a few scenes set on Gallifrey (because Timothy Dalton IS playing a Time Lord). They could go for the creepy nightmare way of showing it, or alternate universe it, or any number of ways, but goddammit, I want to see Gallifrey.

IT CAN BE CHRISTMAS NAO PLZ?

Maybe I am the in-between girl . . .

2009-07-23T07:21:26Z

Oh, I just adore Korean methods of communication.

Long story short, the school I teach at was scheduled to close at the end of this week (which I didn't find out until LAST week), and today I come in to find out that no, we're not closing because the director's sister-in-law has decided to try her hand running the school. So all the panic I was going through with possible plane tickets/packing for home, and then interviewing at three different schools (NONE of which I'd have to teach kindergarden at) is all useless. We're still going to be open after vacation. I still have five months of kindergarden and grade-schoolers left.

What pisses me off isn't just the horrific lack of communication, it's the complete and utter idiocy of the people I work for. They only opened the school because Ally, the wife, wanted to. Enoch, the actual director, has no experience running a school, and to be fair, he's done a decent job. But he quite clearly does not want to be in this business, and he's only continuing because he doesn't want to disappoint his wife, or Mommy and Daddy, who are paying for all this. He was a week away from closing before, and then this woman named Anne who he and Ally are friends with stepped in. She lasted a week. Now he was ready to close again and suddenly Cleo, his SIL, is going to single-handedly run the school? With just as little experience as he's got?

God, I was just about to sign a new contract with another school to teach conversation and writing to HIGH-SCHOOLERS. No more babysitting. No more whining. No more students who quite clearly do not want to be there and yet we have to bend over backward to please their parents. No more grading recordings and book reports that they half-ass ANYWAY. No more kids who can barely speak Korean, let alone English.

I'd gotten my hopes up SO much. I was excited to teach for the first time in four months. I was doing lesson plans because I wanted to. I was putting together writing projects (blogs! one-act plays! short-story collections!). And I can't use any of those ideas for my current students, because none of them are anywhere near that level and those that are are maybe one or two students out of a class of four more who can't. I have to go back to unit assessments, weekly spelling tests, and did I mention the fucking recordings? (Most. Useless. Teaching Method. EVER.)

And I'll be by myself doing it, too. Brett's got maneuvering room. He's staying in Korea longer than a year. He has a girlfriend with a school of her own. He can afford to break his contract and walk away and say "fuck this noise, I'm going to teach for someone who knows how to run a school". I can't. Everything I've got here is tied into the school I'm at, for a year. And I know I'm dwelling on the negatives, I know I'm bitching about a situation I can do nothing about, but dammit, I wish I had more of a say in what the hell was going on with my life.

I won't grow up/I will never grow a day . . .

2009-07-16T14:07:25Z

Meme snagged from evilgmbethy who is awesome.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Student loans. Student fucking loans which seem to be growing despite my approved deferment (due to not-being in the country and teaching, both of which get me a year's grace period). Student loan people who do not understand what "I am not in the US right now" means, and that asking me to "call back in three hours" is not an option when it'll be 4 am for me and I've already stayed up until 1 holding for your idiot ass.

2. Do you miss being a child? Not really, no. I'd rather have the relative freedoms and choices I've got.

3. Chore you hate the most? Cleaning of any sort. Dishes aren't bad, but bathrooms and bedrooms and any other room? UGH.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Aahahahaha, I can't even remember. The last place I had a really good, fun dinner was at Bennigan's with Diane, Amber, and Frances after hiking Hae-in-sa (a very famous Buddhist temple on top of a mountain).

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? I'd tell my mother that while I love her dearly, chaperoning the Girl Scout trip to the Palace skating rink isn't necessary. Thus, she would never have broken her arm, and never would have had to have pins in it for months, and that entire Year-from-Hell would have been a bit more manageable. Dealing with Pop-Pop's death, Dad's PTSD-induced major depressive episodes, Mom's broken arm, having very little money, and all the school-related crap would have been easier if Mom were at full strength. Though, I do admit, it taught me responsibility - because of that year, I learned how to cook, do wash, clean, operate a car, the importance of balancing your checkbook, why you use coupons while shopping, and how to throw a decent punch (I have my godfather to thank for that one). This was all while I was 9, by the way. Yeah, still not over that year, thanks.

6. Name of your first grade teacher? Ms. Eubanks. She was TINY - she was like, the size of us.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now? I've got an iced caramel macchiato from Hands (with three pounds of real whipped cream) and an episode of Burn Notice, and I don't have to be up until 10 tomorrow. Life isn't bad.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up? What age are you asking? Because when I was 5, I wanted to be an astronaut; when I was 7, I wanted to be a ballerina; when I was 9, I wanted to be a physical therapist; when I was 13, I wanted to be an FBI profiler; and when I was 15, I wanted to be a Broadway actress. Now I'm 23 and I want to be an international woman of mystery.

9. How many colleges did you attend? One. Temple University, which took me 5 years to graduate and where I'm pondering going right back to for grad school.

10.Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? It's clean, comfortable, and fairly old, so I can sleep in it (as opposed to a nice one, which I try to keep available to wear to work).

11.What are your thoughts on gas prices? They're obscenely low in Korea. The SK station across the street from my school is at 2,300 a gallon (or approximately $1.90).

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? "Fuuuuuuck, why is it morning already? Why is my balcony still wet from the rain? AUGH, start working, hot water!"

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? I have no earthly clue.

14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Nancy Pelosi. Because she is awesome and I'd rather love to get the chance to pick her brain away from cameras and reporters.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? I've never driven one. I've been in a few accidents, though - at least two with my mother, one with Beth, and one with Steve and his mom.

16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer? Hell yes. Our current president and First Lady have got the right idea trying to implement a national volunteer program.

17. Get up early or sleep in? Oh my god, SLEEEP. Not having to get up at 8:30 to deal with 6-year-olds all morning long.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character? Dot, from Animaniacs, though according to my fourth-graders, I'm Slappy Squirrel.

19. Favorite thing to do at night with a guy/girl? Watch dorky television shows and make fun of them. I am a loser, I know this.

20. When did you first start feeling old? When all the kids I used to babysit started going to high-school and college. AUGH.

21. Favorite lunch meat? Cappicola.

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? Well, considering Korea doesn't have them . . . My EMart stats show an alarming trend of buying cream cheese, bagels, black raspberry juice, salad, and chicken breasts.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? First of all, I think it's too important to be called "outdated". When certain minority groups of a population are still being denied the right to marry the person of their choosing, and nearly every state has voted on the issue, it can hardly be called "outdated". Secondly, it's not a ritual. It can be a ritual, if you're so inclined, and you feel the church trappings are important. But if you want, you can hop a plane to Vegas, get married by Elvis, and lose a bunch of money at blackjack and call it getting married.

24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? I'm not really ashamed of any of the movies I like.

25. What's your favorite drink? Right now, me and coffee are bestest friends.

26. Who[m] from high school would you like to run in to? There are a ton of people I haven't seen in ages. Roegner, for one, though I have seen him since. Pam, because I've barely seen her since, and she was awesome. And Amy, because we were so tight during senior year, and I miss dorking out over Bowie and psychoanalyzing our exes.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? No car. No radio.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives? Sopranos, but only the first three seasons.

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Ever having the bad taste to be attracted to Erik Brown. Good holy god, what the fuck was I thinking?

30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work? Well, I have my own classroom, so the people sitting across from me are my students. And yes, I like some of them. The others, I have to resist the urge to chuck out the window.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes? Nope.

32. Last book you finished reading? The Know-It-All by A.J. Jacobs. Awesome, and just as good as The Year of Living Biblically. I'm in the middle of Richard Dawkins's The God Delusion right now, and OH MR. LALLA. You are crazy-funny and crazy-brilliant, but we are not all Rhodes scholars. I should not need a flowchart, an encyclopedia, and color-coded Post-Its to keep track of all your references.

33. Do you have a teddy bear? Yes, I do. I brought him to Korea with me, and while he's as old as I am and really, really raggedy-looking, he is my bear, goddammit.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? Everyone brushes their teeth in public in Korea, it seems.

35. Do you go to church? Actually, I've started going to Daegu Faith International Church because my director and one of the KT's are all "you should go! We would love to have you! Please, please, please!" I've met some seriously awesome and lovely people, and no one's tried to brainwash me yet, so it's looking promising. I'm still not coming to your Bible study, nor will I support the idea of teaching a Chapel class to the kindergardeners, thank you very much.

Yes, but can he do high-kicks?

2009-07-14T05:18:30Z

Yes, you're seeing correctly, that IS John Barrowman in drag.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go weep over my utter lack of femininity and bemoan the fact that his legs are a billion times better than mine will ever be.

Because decisions are supposed to be made by those who show up

2009-06-16T05:36:47Z

If you are reading this right now, you have more luxury than someone in Iran could ever hope for right now. If you are watching TV or a video on youtube, updating your status on Facebook, Tweeting, or even texting your friend, you are lucky. If you are safe in your home, and were able to sleep last night without the sounds of screaming from the rooftops, you need to know and understand what is happening to people just like you in Iran right now.

They are not the enemy. They are a people whose election has been stolen. For the first time in a long time, a voice for change struck the youth of Iran, just as it did for many people in the United States only seven months ago. Hossein Mousavi gained the support of millions of people in Iran as a Presidential candidate. He stands for progressiveness. He supports good relations with the West, and the rest of the world. He is supported with fervor as he challenges the oppressive regime of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

On Friday, millions of people waited for hours in line to vote in Iran's Presidential election. Later that night, as votes came in, Mousavi was alerted that he was winning by a two-thirds margin. Then there was a change. Suddenly, it was Ahmadinejad who had 68% of the vote - in areas which have been firmly against his political party, he overwhelmingly won. Within three hours, millions of votes were supposedly counted - the victor was Ahmadinejad. Immediately fraud was suspected - there was no way he could have won by this great a margin with such oppposition. Since then, reports have been coming in of burned ballots, or in some cases numbers being given without any being counted at all. None of this is confirmed, but what happened next seems to do the trick.

The people of Iran took the streets and rooftops. They shout "Death to the dictator" and "Allah o akbar." They join together to protest. Peacefully. The police attack some, but they stay strong. Riots happen, and the shouting continues all night. Text messaging was disabled, as was satellite, and websites which can spread information such as Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and the BBC are blocked in the country. At five in the morning, Arabic speaking soldiers (the people of Iran speak Farsi) stormed a university in the capital city of Tehran. While sleeping in their dormitories, five students were killed. Others were wounded. These soldiers are thought to have been brought in by Ahmadinejad from Lebanon. Today, 192 of the university's faculty have resigned in protest.

Mousavi requested that the government allow a peaceful rally to occur this morning - the request was denied. Many thought that it would not happen. Nevertheless, first a few thousand people showed up in the streets of Tehran. At this point, it is estimated that 1 to 2 million people were there. Mousavi spoke on the top of a car. The police stood by. For a few hours, everything was peaceful. Right now, the same cannot be said. Reports of injuries, shootings, and killings are flooding the internet. Twitter has been an invaluable source - those in Iran who still know how to access it are updating regularly with picture evidence. People are being brutally beaten. Tonight will be another night without rest for so many in Iran no older than I am. Tonight there is a Green Revolution.

For more information:
PICTURES:
here and here
NEW INFORMATION:
Here - near constant updates
Here - ONTD_political live post
ON TWITTER:
@StopAhmadi, @IranElection09, @persiankiwi, @NextRevolution, @Change_for_Iran

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

- original post by one_hoopy_frood

</div></div>

A2A - 2x05

2009-05-21T03:32:19Z

This one was totally the "let's remind the audience that Ray's not a total wanker" one. Which I do appreciate.

- Alex, sweetie, what did we tell you about talking to the telly? It just makes you look as bonkers as Sam. Also, am really rather creeped out by the puppet. Camberwick Green and the puppet from the first season weren't bad, but this one totally looks like a demented bird.

- Chris! Mangling French! Sam would be so amused.

- Um, wow. Why's the guy all tied up in the boot of the Quattro? And why are they putting him in the . . . they're shipping him to France?! That's, uh, quite a way to get rid of criminals there, Gene.

- Bwahahaha, Chris, Ray, and Gene's simultaneous double-fingered salute. Yes, I know it means "fuck you", and while it's hysterical, it remains that no one flips people off like Keeley Hawes.

- "Right now, we need something to shut them up, like a bloody big collar." "Burglary at #2 Stanley Road, Guv." Well, then. Whatever the Gene-Genie wants, the Gene-Genie gets.

- OH SHIT. Peter Drake. Molly's dad. Oh jeez, Alex, you don't go hugging the in-laws you haven't met yet.

- She named her daughter after a cat?! *laughs* I swear, if Alex mutters that she had a lot of fond memories of that cat, I will have the biggest laughing fit known to mankind.

- I, er . . . what? And I ask again, only slightly louder, WHAT?! Alex, you DO know he's a 14 year old kid who hasn't MET you yet, much less abandoned you and your daughter? Do you know how insane you sound?

- Ew, Ray, your leering is creepier and more obvious than usual. Stop that. And by "stop that", I don't mean switch your morality off and on like a robot and beat the crap out of people when Gene tells you to. Although that little "I've had enough of this shit" is very telling - a revolt, possibly?

- Hah, Gene really likes beating people up in restrooms. He used to smack Sam around in the men's room, and we've had at least three scenes this season in A2A of him beating the pulp out of people in bathrooms.

- Awesome belt, Alex. Shame about the coat.

- "Oh, so that's where she gets it from." Well, she certainly doesn't get that from you, Alex. When you lie, you look off to the side. You're also about as crap at it as Peter is.

- "I can't change what happened. I'm kind of learning that, now." It took you freaking long enough, Alex. That's really one of the major differences between the way Sam's 1973 worked and the way Alex's 1981/82 works: Sam had to change things - save Annie, keep Tony Crane in prison, go back to shut down Morgan's operation. Alex can't, she has to accept that certain things, the big things, can't change. Very Whovian of them, really (like how Four's choice to not blow up the Daleks lead to the Time War, but how Ten absolutely has to let Mt. Vesuvias erupt and bury Pompeii).

- O RLY, Gene? You're the Sheriff again, are you? Haven't been acting much like one.

- . . . whoa. Ray? Joining the army?

- Awww, bless. I like Mrs. Staines. She's sweet and old and uses Cockney rhyming slang and okay, probably evil or a serial killer, considering this show's parental issues. At the very least, she's lying about having any money saved.

- And there goes Alex again. "I'd remember." "Just trust me." Just like there couldn't have been a bomb under that car Ray checked out, right? C'mon, Alex, Sam's story should have taught you better.

- "Under Pressure"! Heeee!

- Damn, Alex. Threatening a man's nuts with a squeezing so hard he'll "have a voice like a Bee Gee". NIIIICE.

- Gah. Just when I start unequivocally hating Ray again, Dean Andrews goes and nails a scene like the one with Alex in the locker room. It's short and powerful and you get everything that's been going on with Ray in such a short time. Because he's not just brainless muscle - the Guv and the Masons (especially Mack) gave him a purpose. Gave him prestige. He was an officer of the Met, and all the beatings he dished out were for all for the goal of keeping that purpose and prestige. And now everything's gone - no Mack, no Masons, Gene under the thumb of the Commissioner, Chris getting married. No wonder he's pondering joining the army.

- Hmm. That's another mention of people being alive when they should be dead, and the third mention this episode of Spain. My inner fangirl's ears have perked up and are inquiring whether or not we might find a Sammyboy chilling out in Madrid.

- Totally shallow moment, but George Staines? Hot.

- Heee, I do like Ray stonewalling Gaynor.

- *headdesks* Gene. Alex. STOP IT. Just give up and admit you're shagging already. Because no one can survive those choking amounts of sexual tension.

- DUDE. So that's the infamous "Martin Summers"? Looks like a copper. Talks like a crazy copper. And come the hell on, no way he and Alex are the only dimension-hoppers or whatever you want to call them. Gene is totally one too, if he's not the Wizard wanting to keep everyone there.

- I really, really adore the lighting in this confrontation between Summers and Alex. The horizontal stripe of bright light. The spot on Alex, the shadows on the corner where Martin starts out, slowly bleeding into the light. Alex in white, Summers in black (in an almost identical suit to the type worn by Sam and Alex in their respective "home" times).

- *punches the air* Summers was a cop! I knew it! His cadence and chain-smoking and body language totally screamed "cop".

- "Don't cry, Bolls. That's an order. I mean it, if you're crying, I might have to do something drastic. I might have to put a comforting arm around you." THEEEEEEMM. *squishes them*

- *winces* Yikes, that is a nice gash to the forehead. For a minute there, I thought we were going to have to add another mostly-innocent dead woman to Gene Hunt's total.

- Ew, Alex, stop being so creepy. There is no reason you should admit to knowing what Peter's bed sounds like. And you should not be lecturing him on all the annoying crap he did when you two were married if he is still only 14!

- *dies of laughter* Gene Hunt, ladies and gentlemen. Cannot deal with the idea of a transsexual. And wow, that's definitely an interesting thing for Staines to have done. Shame, really - he was a great-looking guy. And according to Chris, Ray, and Gene, a great-looking girl as well.

- Ohhhh, ouch. That Elton John pun was painful.

- "Gender-bendy weirdy-beardy freak of nature." Hooo boy. And that's what you get for being a tosser, Gene - kneed in the bollocks by a trannie. I particularly love the entire hospital watching the proceedings.

- Hah, we knew Alex was a shoe girl, but name-dropping Jimmy Choos? Nice.

- D'awwwww. Shh, Alex, don't tell everyone that Gene's actually a decent guy. Would kill his rep.

- Oh, Alex and Ray! "Stay". "You're not such a bad copper . . . for a bird." Paying for her drinks. I really like the look we get at them when they're not sniping and bitching at each other.

- Ooooooh. That scene, with Summers and Alex, and Gene being all jealous because it totally looks like she's about to leave with him, and then it looks like she's just dumped him. And that musical cue - Bowie's "The Man Who Sold the World". Just perfect. Nirvana's riff is more sinister, and I think it could have potentially been seriously awesome to stick just that riff in there for subtle foreshadowing, but still. Awesome scene.

Went to Seoul on Tuesday. OMG LOVE. If I ever decide to come back to Korea after this year, I'm going to teach in Seoul. It's almost exactly like New York - to the point where I mastered the subway system after five minutes and some translation from Jenna.

To put it in geeky English major terms -

Daegu : Philadelphia :: Seoul : NYC.

Dreamwidth Invite Codes

2009-05-17T03:36:40Z

I've got two Dreamwidth codes, which are good for a free account. If you want one, let me know.

DoubleShot Tuesday: House 5.24 and Ashes to Ashes 2.04

2009-05-12T15:34:14Z

To steal a phrase from phinnia, ate too many fannish cookies again. And this is the only thing distracting me from massive amounts of lesson plans and grading and teaching, so forgive the lengthy yammerings.

- Oh thank God for Doris Egan. She singlehandedly gives us a Cuddy back to her old, ballbusting self; a Taub with some personality; real Chase and Cameron scenes instead of the pod people they've been reduced to; a concerned and supportive Wilson; and a House who made the entirety of the last act of last week's episode up in his brain, because his brain finally had enough. I loved the metaphors with the POTW (how his right brain, what "makes you a person" can't deal with his logical left brain), Carl Reiner's guest spot and how he tied into House's self-delusion, and the Amber and Kutner cameo. While it was nice to see Kal Penn again, it was way better to see Amber - she's really become the Devil on House's shoulder.

- And okay, not to go all shippy - although c'mon, the icon's saying it all - but YES! THE ICKY SCREWED-UP POST-DETOX HOUSE/CUDDY SEX WAS A DELUSION. I don't hate House/Cuddy, I'd just prefer both of them be in their right minds if anything happened.

- God, that ending. I haven't cried so hard at this show in so long. Chase and Cameron's wedding, with Cuddy coming in with her baby in the middle of it (is it sad that I had to double-take and go "YES, HER DAUGHTER'S STILL ALIVE!"?), Taub and his wife, Foreman and Thirteen . . . and the intercutting to House and Wilson at the psychiatric institute. House leaving his cell, wallet, and watch (you know, the one Kutner gave him for Christmas that he never took off) with Wilson. House's walk - oh my god, still keeping his pride, even though he's sunk to this - and Wilson staying to make sure he was inside. The fucking master class of underplaying, subtlety, and empathy Robert Sean Leonard was putting on (not to take anything away from Hugh Laurie, but RSL makes that last scene shine).

- Fuck 'em up, CID! Nobody sings happy songs when Gene Hunt's just been canned. Also, um "A Division"? LOM reference #1.

- The simultaneous "I'm going home"? adslfnsa;dfgknsa;fgjnas;kjn GO HOME TOGETHER, GENE AND ALEX. PLEASE O PLEASE OH PLEASE? AND HE WALKS OFF AFTER HER! OMG, Chris and Ray totally ship Gene/Alex, too, and Shaz is all pissy 'cause Alex is her girlcrush object, thank you.

- AND THEY'RE BACK IN CID. AT THE SAME TIME. GAH . . . sorry for the abuse of capslock, I just kind of ridiculously ship them, and they're making it really easy, what with the parallel power walks and the mirror-image costuming (Alex in white, Gene in black).

- Bastard fucking writers. NOT ON. All the double-entendre dialogue, and they KNOW just how crazy it'll drive the audience. Though I love the shot of Gene standing on Supermack's desk and Alex keeping watch.

- Seriously, wardrobe, you have her in Anniehair half the time, and now you've got her in Annie makeup! That lipstick is totally the same that they used on Liz White, and so's the blusher, to give Keeley apple-cheeks that she totally doesn't have.

-Oh my god, Alex snores! I love it! I also love how she's casually got her legs up right in front of Gene's nose, and when Chris and Ray and Shaz and Viv come in, they look all guilty. I suppose they're going to have to pretend that they're shagging instead of bugging Supermack's office? Oh, well, it's a tough job, but that's why you call in the Gene-Genie.

- JACKIE QUEEN! IN GENE'S CAMELHAIR COAT! OH MY GOD. THERE ARE NOT WORDS FOR HOW LOUDLY I SQUEED.

- . . . no way. No fucking way. She's pregnant? No, it's totally not Gene's, that would be really stupid and illogical.

- "You were very drunk. I had to tie a pencil to it." Jackie, this is why we love you. I especially love her smoking and how chummy she is with Ray, too.

- *cackles* "The little pitter-patter of tiny crocodile boots". Oh, Alex, I do love that you love winding him up.

- Oh, who's surprised that Mack gave orders to ignore any inquiries from Manchester into the Met, its people, or possible cases? I would really, dearly love for that to be because Annie's head of CID and is trying to make his life a living hell, but I'm prepared to be disappointed on that possibility.

- I really have to mention that I love that Jackie's wearing Gene's camelhair coat. It looks awesome on her. Wish I could say the same about Alex's hideous patchwork capey-looking thing.

- Ray, ew. Please remember that what's in your brain doesn't necessarily have to come out of your mouth. Sam would be making a crack about recto-cranial inversion right now.

- Oh shit! Go Jackie! That's how Northern girls do it! Headbutting a perv - very few people have been that badass on this show that aren't named Gene Hunt.

- Aha, I figured that the 16-year-old was something meaningful to Jackie. Her niece, then.

- Aaand it's now time for Supermack's bastard appearance of the week. Nice, righteous indignation. Too bad no one's going to listen to a damn word you say, Mack. Also, what the hell is that creepy song playing when Mack walks out and Gene and Alex walk into his office and close the blinds?

- Oh my God, Chris's faaaace, when Jackie interrupts Alex and Gene's surveillance/"shagging". He so cannot tell you what he's thinking right now.

- "The door is ajar, Bolly. What do we do?" "We knock it down, Guv." D'awww, that's so got a parallel in LOM and I wish I could figure it out, but it's a moment. It's definitely one of the first moments where Gene and Alex are on the same page.

- SAM! SAM MENTION! Chris was taught electronic surveillance by Sam Tyler! Jackie remembers him! And Alex is all "omg did you see him after the train job?" and unfortunately, we never get an answer.

- Awww, Chris and Shaz are beyond-cute. And while they're severely limited in female officers who could pull off being an undercover teenager, Shaz is a good pick. She's levelheaded, sweet, easy to talk to. Gee, Gene, where might you want to use skills like those? Possibly as an officer instead of making her fetch your coffee every morning?

- Ugh, seriously, that coat of Alex's is burning my retinas. Wardrobe, I am begging you, please give her back that white leather jacket. And speaking of her wardrobe, god, just looking at her in those boots, struggling down the gravel is making me want to cry and hold my ankles in pain.

- I like them subverting the trope with Jackie's niece - that she isn't some scared, abused little girl locked in the basement. She's a mouthy naive girl who wants to go to parties and "live her life", and she's doing fine. And she wants to go undercover to help bust Jarvis! I do like her.

- GENE'S PROPOSAL. "Gene-Genie pink"! "It's like watching a car crash in slow motion"! And I love him, I do, but Gene Hunt might, possibly, be the world's second-worst prospective father (first being Angel).

- Oh, all hail Jackie Queen. Gets one over on Gene Hunt so badly he thinks he's going to be a father and have to marry her. And then is all "Not if you were the last man on Earth".

- Awww, Alex is letting Jackie crash at her place! They are all PJ'd up and talking about kids and OH MY GOD, SAM MENTION! SAM MARRIED ANNIE! Ah, no kids, but he married Annie! I am, as ever, a Sam/Gene girl, but I like the acknowledgement he finally got his act together with her.

- Jackie wrote his obituary - oh, yes. Yes, she rather did. Lovely.

- And, okay, ignoring the awesome squeeful Sam mentions and Alex's kid issues and Jackie and Alex psychoanalying Gene . . . this feels SO meta. Fails the Bechdel Test too, but two women, one from LOM and one from A2A, talking about how terrible it would be to be attracted to Gene Hunt, and how he "wasn't put on this earth to have babies. No, he's got a deeper purpose"? It seems like the writers are saying "see, this is how women should react to Gene, not think he's hot and damaged and woobify him".

- Ugh, that headboard is hideous. No wonder Alex never sleeps in her bed. And um, yes, I am totally fixating on the headboard because her dream of a blindfolded Molly being paraded around by Jarvis creeped me the fuck out.

- Love how Gene waltzes right into Alex's place. Do not love how the girl from the photographers ended up dead. Love how Alex is back in blue again. Do not love how Gene is totally blaming himself for the death of yet another innocent Northern girl.

- "I'd jump off Tower bloody Bridge for you, you know that!" Ohhh, Ray. Just when I resign myself to hating you for being an utter wanker, you go and show that kind of loyalty.

- NOT. ON. MACK. Oh, you are an utter bastard. I don't even want to sully the term by prefacing it with Magnificent, because you're just a bastard. You knew too many people were loyal to Gene, you knew he's got connections in Manchester still, and you knew he'd make your life miserable, so you went after Alex. Framing crazy, mistrustful DI Alex Drake, whom no one will suspect isn't guilty.

- Hoo boy, suspension is not going to be the best thing for our Alex. More time to drink. More time to see things that aren't there. More time to talk to her TV. More time to see her dead daughter.

- Awesome. Jackie and Gene aren't leaving Alex behind to go after Rachel.

- Ahahaha, Alex knows Gene so well. "No, you first! You'll just look at my arse when you're giving me a lift!"

- Chris! Not every doggie is your friend! Leave the nice giant rottweiler alone!

- *headdesks* Thanks, writers, for bypassing Kick the Dog with Gene and going straight for Shoot the Dog. Not on, guys, not on.

- "You should be worried! You're surrounded by armed bastards!" JACKIE! STEALING GENE'S CATCHPHRASE! I just rather wish she hadn't gotten herself caught.

- Mmmm, very nice confrontation between Gene and Alex and SuperMack. I wish I could snark or pick it apart, but it was just really well done.

- Oh. My, God. What a way to twist the Mack storyline - shoots Jarvis twice in the head, then shoots himself in the chest. And what the hell - "Operation Rose is coming". I am quite sure "Rose" doesn't refer to the roses Alex is getting. I suspect it's another reference to Diana - "goodbye, England's rose".

- "They're going to take this department down brick by brick, and they're not going to put it back together." Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy to me, Ray.

- Ohhh, love. Gene's speech is utter, utter love. "Once upon a time, in this room, a man drew a line. He said that police corruption was going to become a thing of the past. That man was a liar and that man is dead. I'm going to re-draw that line. I am not a liar. We are police officers and we will behave like police officers. We will fight, slap, knock down, beat up, and intimidate to hold back the wave of scum. That is our right and that is our duty. But if I find one man feathering his own nest by so much as one bent penny, I will destroy him. Any questions? Right, then, a toast. Stand up. To Detective Superintendant Charlie Mackintosh - there but for the grace of God."

Somewhere, Sam Tyler just punched the air, and has the biggest grin on his face.

- Oh, Jackie, teasing Alex and trying to give Gene back his coat. You are going to be a hell of a mom.

- I adore Alex and Gene's toast at Luigi's - damn right, boyfriend. Keep knocking 'em down until there ain't any more.

-

Ashes to Ashes: Ep. 203

2009-05-06T11:43:46Z

To paraphrase Em - SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW.

- Seriously, how does Alex forget something like ETA? First of all, you hear it all the time, it means Estimated Time of Arrival, and she's a COP. I could've sworn they'd used it, even back in the 80s.

- Ewww, bad painting shows! Turn it off, Alex, even if I totally get your insomniac wine-drinking, channel-flipping urges.

- 10 bucks says the TV's going to turn itself back on and AUGH. OH MY GOD, THAT'S CREEPY, SHOW, STOP THAT. The sound is defibrillator paddles warming up, to restart 2008!Alex's heart, and she's feeling it in 1982, and augh, this is going to be like the LOM episode where Sam was given an accidental OD of speed, isn't it?

- AUGH. Sam never got knocked across a room. What in the hell is going on with her?

- I swear we had something similar to the orangey clay figure guy on Nickelodeon when I was a kid - which would have been late 80's, so it's possible. Either way, he's giving me the creepiest sense of Deja Vu.

- Still don't like the Anniehair on Keeley. I swear, it's hit or miss with hairstyling and her. She looks amazing half the time, and the other half, she looks aged 20 years.

- I do love that shot of Dean Andrews winking and clicking his teeth. It's actually quite debonair for Ray.

- Hoo boy, there goes any and all of Alex's proof that Kevin Hales wasn't a cop-killer and had a link to whatever the hell's going on with the Masons. Not shocked he hung himself.

- . . . ew. I'm with Chris; someone shows me a box of a dead cat with maggots and shit all over it, I'm throwing up, too. And who the fuck carries that around with their daughter nearby?!

- So, some kind of big-shot scientist involved with animal testing, then? Hmm, excuse me while I IMDB. Drat, no luck. Still don't know where I've seen him.

- "Thank you, Miss Marple." Aaand the Alex/Annie parallels continue. Yes, they're all three women detectives, but c'mon, Gene, you're reusing your pop culture references.

- So, now that the blackmailer's tossed a homemade bomb at Pattison smack out in front of CID and injured his daughter, NOW will you take this seriously? And really, I can just hear that in Sam's voice.

- Oh yay, we've got animal cruelty terrorists. Joy. Very glad there was nothing in that package, considering Shaz picked it up and Gene opened it.

- Ugh, again with the sexism. Chris gets interviews, Ray gets special ops, Shaz gets to make coffee.

- Ahahaha, Ray's posh London accent. LOVE. "Hello, Virginia? Have you happened to throw a bomb off the back of a motorcycle today? You haven't? Oh, well, I'll hang onto the phone until you ask Geraldine."

- O hai thar Argus Filch from the HP movies, playing Eliot. Also love the bluesy old-school cop drama-type backing music on Gene and Alex.

- Bwah, I love how snarky Gene gets when people ignore him and ask his DI's existential questions: "This is a murder inquiry, not Radio sodding Four!"

- "Everyone wants to live, Alex, but who are we to decide who's worth being saved?" See, now this is really interesting - this is one of the major themes in A2A, the fact that Alex thinks she knows best. She thinks she's been sent back to save her parents, and she can't. She got herself shot in 2008 protecting her daughter, but maybe her daughter wasn't meant to be saved. The idea that individuals shouldn't be able to play God. It's utterly the opposite of the major themes in LOM, which was that Sam has to change things by himself. He saved Annie in 1x08. He saved the entire team in 2x08. He sends a man to an insane asylum so he isn't killed in the present day. Sam does nothing but play God.

- Gene, you bastard, eating fish and chips in front of a man on a hunger strike. This is why we love you.

- Alex, honey, stop talking to the cleaning people and telling them your brain's still alive. It makes you continue to look absolutely bonkers.

- Seven years bad luck, huh? More like fourteen, though, right Gene? . . . look, you have your crack-brained theories and I have mine.

- Nipple-waggling last ep, testicle-waggling this ep. Gene, should we be having a chat about you and your proclivities?

- Curious - why would Alex deny being a psychologist to Jeremy? She's always yammering about her credentials any other time.

- Haha, Gene of all people making cracks about narcissistic personality disorder.

- Oh, Chris. Stop theiving sex books from the nice psychologist.

- Oooh, as of this episode, Gene officially knows about Molly, considering he's listening in as Alex interviews Eliot. I rather like Eliot using Molly against Alex, asking her what color Molly's eyes are, what time she got up for school.

- Duuuude, there's that music cue again! That same descending piano riff from LOM that plays whenever Sam's figuring something out, and it plays now when Alex and Eliot talk about saving people.

- WHOA. Eliot knows about cloning animals and they play that music cue again and Alex is totally flipping out asking him if he sent her the roses.

- "Eye of the Tiger"? REALLY, SHOW?

- Chris, sweetie, stop touching the caged dogs. I don't think they like you.

- "Lank-haired, four-eyed spongers." Oh, Gene, you give the best beat poetry slams. And hah, I totally knew the surly redheaded bartender was the guy they were looking for.

- SuperMack, you creepy bastard, GTFO of Gene's office. Also, quit trying to cover up murders and threatening Gene with the ruination of his career. Someone might put one of those darts through your eye.

- Gene Hunt, you Magnificent Bastard. ILU. Bouncing Adrian around the men's toilets! Reciting the Oxford Concise definition of "innocent" and using the word "culpability" in a sentence! Being the swaggering, booze-swilling king of the jungle we've missed so much! And being absolutely and utterly scared out of your wits enough so that even the suspects can see it.

- Hmmmm, second mention of a "devil" connected to Alex. "Dancing with the Devil, eh? He leads, you follow." I am very probably wrong, but I can't help connecting that to Sam; first Sam, then Alex.

- Oh, Shazzar. You heart Alex so, so much.

- Tell me I didn't just hear someone say "are you disproving the Doctor?" on Alex's television. Because OMG POSSIBLE DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE. 1982 would have been smack in the middle of Davison's era, anywhere from "Castrovalva" to "Time-Flight". Heeeee. *is such a fangirl omg*

- AUGH. With the blood and Molly turning into Eliot and more of the blood.

- Oh, Alex. Getting touchy-feely with the suspects again. Although it worked. And oh, Gene, I do love when you profess your love for your DIs by calling them "scrawny" or "bony".

- I knew "only one other" wasn't talking about Eliot and Adrian. Alex, when are you gonna learn?

- Seven years, again. I swear to God, if they're going the same way with it that my brain's been going since LOM, I will punch the air SO HARD.

- ALEX. STOP BEING CAUGHT ALONE BY THE MURDERING PSYCHOPATHS. It's not new anymore.

- Ohhh, I shouldn't be so charmed by Gene immediately putting himself between Alex and the gun-wielding psycho. I also shouldn't be so charmed by Ray and Chris deflecting the shot and Gene tackling Alex to the ground. Nor should I be 'awwww'-ing over Gene pulling Alex up and then dropping her hand like he's six.

- "Oi! Rip Van Wanker!" *snicker*

- Eeeeeek, another rose.

- AHAHAHAHA, CHRIS AND RAY. CHRIS THINKING HE NEEDS TO ASK RAY TO BE HIS BEST MAN DOWN ON HIS KNEES. OH, HONEY.

- "Never trust a man who owns a sex guide. There are some things you should know how to do without reading a manual." DSKGNJD;SFLKGJAS;LKGJN I WILL BE IN MY BUNK. THANK YOU, GENE.

- What, seriously? SERIOUSLY? No flipping way. No way is Gene getting transferred.

- OH MY GOD, HE'S NOT GOING TO TELL THEM, IS HE? Alex is all toasting to the boys, to the Met, and to "The Guv, the Lion of Fenchurch East", and he's totally not going to tell them that he's just gotten transferred. And he just sits there, while everyone drinks champagne and the opening to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" plays and SHOW. HOW MUCH DO I SIMULTANEOUSLY LOVE AND HATE YOU?

And you're sitting there . . . BLOGGING!

2009-05-04T14:22:47Z

Updated my wordpress blog (the List of Things I'm Learning in Korea), if anyone is at all interested in checking it out.

You can find it here.

Ugh. Sleeeeeep. Also, NyQuil, as have caught the Korean Death Flu. Again.

Drinking the DW Kool-Aid

2009-05-01T04:01:17Z

cereta is super-duper awesome and gave me a DW invite, so you can find me at d_generate_girl over on Dreamwidth.

And if you're already on DW, plz to tell me your username so I can add you?

It's all been a pack of lies . . .

2009-04-30T05:36:26Z

- Augh, creepy faceless Molly. I sincerely doubt this is a good sign,

- I really wonder what Alex comes off as to the gang. I mean, Chris and Ray have spent seven years dealing with Sam Tyler's brand of crazy, which is similar to, but not exactly like Alex's brand of crazy. But Shaz has no reference point for this, and I really wonder how she can take it all in stride.

- Ack, swirly cam! Bad plan when one has been drinking. I do not appreciate it.

- Oh, Alex. Honey. The constructs don't hear what you hear. When you start yammering at them about "giving up" and "fighting" for you, they think you're off your flipping gourd.

- "This motor's more a part of me than my own ball sack". Um, wow. Thanks for that, Gene. *valiantly refrains from making detatchable ball jokes*

- Oh crap. Suspect's car go flippy. One dead suspect. And who's to prove it wasn't due to Gene's "reckless driving" and chasing it?

-You know, the new credits sequence is lovely and all (especially the shot of Gene walking through CID as the lights go out and the one of Alex and Gene in the Quattro from this episode), but I am very, very interested in why the final shot is Gene's name. I mean, Sam looking apprehensive was the final shot of LOM, which was Sam's story. But A2A is Alex's, and it's very very odd that Gene should overshadow her so much. I mean, Phil Glenister is already billed over Keeley Hawes, which is suspect in and of itself.

- Five minutes in and he's making gypsy jokes. Although, really, he's mellowed. One has to remember the LOM crack about gays, "spastics", women, the disabled, Pakistanis, black people, and him leaving out the Jews.

- Ohhh, Ray. Even though you're talking about cover-ups and insulting gypsies left and right, I have to admire your loyalty. Gene Hunt can do no wrong, and that's what makes your world turn right side up in the morning.

- . . . what, now? Mack, you are not seriously making up some shite story about Gene running the suspect off the road because he was about to hit a child? I mean, that's certainly what you're doing, but what in the everlasting fuck?

- Shallow wardrobe moment: Ugh, what the hell, people? That outfit looks lovely on Keeley from the front, yes, but from the back? It's like a jumpsuit/unitard hybrid and looks hideous. It actually makes her ass appear to start at mid-back, which should be impossible.

-"You just can't leave things alone, can you? Pick, pick, pickety pick." But Gene, you like "picky pains" for your DIs, remember?

- Ohhh, Gene. How's that furry little animal in your stomach, huh? Not sleeping now, is he?

- Chris! Going to propose to Shaz! Oh, how adorable are they?

- "Protecting one of their own, oh, we can't have that!" Heeee. Love Alex when she's being sarcastic.

- Oh, yeah, let a bunch of professional thieves hang around your police station, great plan! I love the guy casually stealing Alex's money and then replacing her wallet on the desk.

- Awww, I do love when Chris does a good job and gets a pat on the head from Sam or Alex, he gets the most adorkable little smile on his face. All "hee, I did good!".

- OOOOOH, TAROT! Going from my own knowledge, it's a Celtic cross spread, first card down, the two of swords. That's a fool's balance, walking a knife's edge between two diametric opposites. What's right and what's easy. What's real and what's not. What's justifiable and what isn't. Very Gene, as well as very Alex. And AUGH. CAN NOT SEE CARDS.

- Old Lady's explanation is a bit pat, but yeah, encountering a stranger. "Some would say handsome, others would say the Devil in disguise". O RLY? Wonder if that's Gene or Mack. Taken away from a child, and now can't see her face. Seperated from home by a long distance. And wtf, apparently her life line's fading, which can't actually happen, but the metaphor is nice, if a little cliche.

- OMG. I totally missed Gene's line in the middle of OMGTAROT, but OOOOOOOH. "Well, isn't this a magical trip to the wrong side of the wardrobe?" And where does a wardrobe lead us, Gene? To Narnia, to your domain? You are, after all, Aslan, aren't you?

- EEEEE, GENE READING. "Your fate is connected with the fate of many others." How many others, hmmm? Sam couldn't have been the first. I really, strongly believe that Nelson and Gene, at the very least, were also plucked out of their own times and sent to correct the "Might Have Beens" (and anyone who gets THAT reference gets a box of cookies). The Hanged Man - giving up power, yes, but what she doesn't tell him is that the Hanged Man is, depending on upright or reversal, either sacrifice (which is chilling) or self-sacrifice (which is even more interesting).

- . . . okay, I admit it. I screamed my head off when she said "Give up your power to a Tyler". And just in case you missed it, she repeats it, so there's no question, she says "TYLER". And, and, and, OMG. OMG. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, SHOW, IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU'LL GIVE ME A SIMM GUEST SPOT.

- D'awwww, Gene totally tries to pull an Alex ("Psychiatry, actually"), but gets it wrong.

- Oooh, extra special creepy. Getting told you're dying by a computer.

- OI! ALEX! We do not *shout* at Shazzar! She's only trying to help your crazy self, and shouting at her to go home isn't doing anything!

- Augh, creepy Mackintosh is ruining my enjoyment of Phil Glenister in a TOWEL. He is yammering about cocoons and clubs and whatever the hell he's playing at, and there is a half-naked Phil Glenister on my screen! And ew, Mack is naked, which you can totally see when he gets up and sits next to Gene. Not that I'm paying attention to him, what with the way Gene's hair is all soaked at the bottom and there's beads of water on his neck . . . I'm sorry, was there plot going on?

- Oh, what the hell, you guys. "Tempted By the Fruit of Another" when Gene and Mack have their "superglue" discussion? And then cutting to Alex drinking at Luigi's? That's just MEAN.

- BWAHAHAHAHAHA. "Signorina Drake, you drink so much."

- Hiding the drugs in the dolls, nice. I'd have gone for the stuffed animals right off, like Alex did, but way to subvert the trope.

- Oh, Gene, you are totally letting Alex down, and it's got to hurt to hear her say it to your face. And the thing I find most interesting is that Gene could *never* have done this if Sam were around. Sam would have raised fifteen kinds of hell and made Gene feel so much guilt, he plotted Mack's downfall the very next second. He wouldn't have believed Gene capable of that level of corruption, and he wouldn't have sat by. And please, do not read this as a Sam > Alex thing, because it's not. It's just that Alex doesn't trust Gene enough yet. It took Sam a while too, remember? He pulled a gun on Gene in LOM 108. Eventually, Alex will get her 207 equivalent, and be the one Gene turns to to get him out of a corruption/murder deal.

- AUGH. Gene, no matter how much whiskey you drink, it's not going to make you want to kiss her any less. And okay, Alex, using your feminine wiles on him is lovely and all, but you know that's not the way to do it. And oh, perfect, perfect music: "Second That Emotion".

- OOOH, "In the Air Tonight"! I love that song, and I've been hoping they were going to use it. Ooh, Gene on the phone with Garrett, wondering what he's gotten himself into. And the lights going out perfectly timed to the drumbeats and GAH. I bloody love whoever does the score to this 'verse - it's utterly perfect.

- OH, NOT ON, SHOW. NOT FUCKING ON. Gene joins the secret society of Mack's, and it's Ray, the flipping doorkeeper, who's the "Tyler" they keep talking about. Just, NOT ON.

- Wow, looks like they recruited a bunch of kinky fangirls to write this week's episode - Gene's been half-naked in a sauna, drinking like a sailor on shore leave, smoking like a house on fire, and now blindfolded and had his shirt ripped open. I can't say I disapprove.

- The Masons? The Masons are the Big Bad?! I, um, WHAT?

- "Contents of A Princess", huh? I know the car was a Princess model, but there's something meta about that, too. Cannot fathom what, mind you.

- *snicker* Love the movie puns - "so it was love, actually? Sounds more like four benzos and a funeral".

- DUH, ALEX. We all knew Gene wasn't bent. We knew he was only joining the "nipple-waggling" Masons to keep his cover with Mack. Trust the Gene-Genie, girlfriend.

- Eeeee, they're playing that music cue from LOM! Alex is professing her love for Gene keeping her on track, and being one of the only people in 1982 she can rely on, and they're playing that one music cue from LOM that they used whenever Sam felt content (I'm specifically remembering him and Vic playing soccer in 108, and him and Annie in his apartment in 208).

- SHAZ! YOU ARE MAKING ME BREAK MY OWN RULE! STOP INTERRUPTING YOUR DCI AND YOUR DI WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO MAKE OUT IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM!

- OH GOD. That's like, every sane person's worst nightmare. Stuck in the woods, about to give birth, with only Gene Bloody Hunt and Alex Flipping Drake to help deliver the baby. "I'll just go and get the car"! The screaming in pain! "Come on, Eileen"! GENE NAMING THE BABY EILEEN!

- Ahaha, Battleford. That's what you get for fucking with innocent people - Gene Hunt shoving your head in a urinal. And Viv! Viv totally tosses him around like a ping-pong ball!

- Oh, Gene, you aren't even trying to "slap" Alex down. I mean, she's playing along for Mack's benefit, but no one who remotely knows you thinks you're serious.

- AWWWWWW. CHRIS AND SHAZZAR.

- Mmmm, Gene/Alex banter. Just fuck already, you two. Show on screen what you've clearly been doing every other night.

Daybreak II and III Flail

2009-03-21T15:47:41Z

Okay, so it's 2 am and I've just finished downloading and watching the finale of BSG - and do you KNOW how much that breaks my heart, that it's the LAST EVER BSG?

Have some spoiler-ridden flailing and capslock.

- Bill, Saul, and Ellen at the strip club! I love how Saul's entranced with the dancers, and how Bill is all "grumble, growl, desk job", and Ellen's bringing on the shots. They are an utterly awesome OT3.

- NO, KARA. DO NOT START THE ADAMA MEN ON THEIR DADDY ISSUES. Oh man, Zak really can't hold his liquor, can he? Ten bucks says he and Kara got smashed on shots, had sex, and that's what caused the drunken pigeon-chasing.

- Shut UP, Gaius. Oh, Head!Six, you're still as cryptic and awesome as ever. Nice to know some things don't change.

- DOC COTTLE! Oh, he and Laura just broke my heart! I can't stand to see Mary cry - I'm a total wreck and it's barely 10 minutes in!

- Two days, huh? Two days for Laura to live.

- Wow, they're really going balls-to-the-wall, aren't they? Hooking Sam up to CIC, Bill ordering his gunners to throw everything at the baseship, Lee and his Marines taking responsibility for Hera, Helo admitting to his Raptor jocks that - as usual - they've got the most dangerous part of the mission. And oh, the little moments, with Saul at Bill's side and not with the Cylons, and Athena managing a smile for Helo, and Chief mentioning the snag in the Cylons' plan for Sam.

- ADMIRAL HOSHI!!!! Oh, Louis, if Gaeta could see you now, he'd be so, so proud. Bill entrusts the Fleet to the one successful transfer from Pegasus, from the first time they had a hostile alliance. Lovely.

- "Still some time to flush 'em all out the airlock." "Not enough time." SAUL. Oh, my bitter, wry, and racist Saul - still pissy about skinjobs in his CIC even though he's a toaster himself.

- WE'RE LEAVING ROMO LAMPKIN IN CHARGE OF THE FLEET? WHO, IN THE EVERLOVING HELL, HAD THAT BRIGHT IDEA?! Oh my god, President Romo.

- Ohhhhhh, Lee. "President of the Colonies and Admiral of the Fleet, departing."

- Hell has frozen over, people. One honestly selfless act from Gaius McCrazypants Baltar. Having the opportunity to leave the ship and not taking it, knowing that if he stays, he's going to die with the rest of them. I honestly didn't think he had it in him.

- Oh, lovely, Laura's in sickbay assisting with triage. Very fitting, very apropos for a woman who's got her own death sentence hanging over her head. I think that's a good place for her to be.

- Ooh, the roll call of stations is totally reminiscent of NASA's mission countdowns, and I love it. Laura reports for Sickbay, Tyrol for FTL, Lee for Assault One, Hot Dog for the Viper Wing, Kara for Assault Two.

- Gaius and Caprica with the Marine remnant, very nice. Dying together once again - because this has all happened before and it will all happen again. And oh, lovely moment when Gaius asks what he's doing here, and Caprica smiles briefly at him. Tricia's been fantastic this entire three-parter.

- And Ellen, watching over Sam's hookup into CIC. She would have to, you know.

- OH MY GOD, DID THEY JUST - THEY DID. THE RAPTORS JUST JUMPED FROM INSIDE GALACTICA'S HANGAR BAY TO RIGHT SMACK OVER THE COLONY. BADASS.

- Oh, NICE. They rammed Galactica right into the Colony, and Lee's assault team rappels right the fuck in.

- Man, Lee, that's some serious fucking metal hair you're sporting. What the hell is UP with his hair?

- Eeee, Racetrack and Skulls. Man, they are the elite of the elite when it comes to Raptor jocks, aren't they?

- KARA, HELO, AND ATHENA, BACK IN THE SADDLE. AWESOME.

- YEAH BOOMER! NECK-SNAPPING FOR THE WIN! Simon's all "blah, blah, tests and numbers and superior mathematics, I'm gonna keep drilling holes in the small child", and Boomer is having NONE of it.

- OH MY GOD, THE FANBOYS MUST BE GOING NUTS. Old Skool Cylon Centurions vs. New Skool Cylon Centurions in an epic cage match.

- Ohhh, Caprica. "I've always wanted to be proud of you."

- *bursts out laughing* Head!Six and Head!Gaius appearing to Caprica and Gaius right as they're making out before their almost-certain deaths. The simultaneous-talking: "I do? You see them?"

- AKFJDSJLKFGHKDFJGH BOOMER HANDING HERA TO ATHENA. "TELL THE OLD MAN I OWED HIM ONE." KARA NOT-WANTING TO TELL BOOMER THE PLAN. ATHENA SHOOTING BOOMER. OMG.

- Ohhh, wee baby Boomer, when she was just a Rook who couldn't land her bird on the deck. Oh, god, of COURSE she was an orphan. Because that's what Bill Adama does - he takes the orphans, the broken, the wash-outs, and he gives them a home and a purpose and that uniform.

- "The doctor is in. Check your neuroses at the door." SAUL. God, I miss when he was more wry than bitter, more teasing. He's so bitter now because, well, he has nothing left but Bill - and maybe, sometimes, now that she's back, Ellen.

- And there we have it - Laura Roslin finally, finally has some real blood on her hands. Digging in to tend to the wounded, the casualties of a mission that, once upon a time, she would have ordered without a second thought for the consequences.

- Awww, the lovers have formed a foursome - Kara and Lee and Helo and Athena. Love love love Helo carrying his little girl.

- Ouch - that shot of the Centaurion falling right in front of Caprica and Gaius is SO CGI IT HURTS. Pulls you right out.

- Leemo Kid! That's really actually sweet of you, telling Gaius he's done well.

- NONONONONONONO HELO IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE SHOT DEAD. OH MY GOD NO, HE TOLD ATHENA TO GO SAVE HERA AND LEAVE HIM AND IT'S JUST LIKE SAM AND KARA.

- Oh God, the Opera House vision's going to come true, isn't it? Athena and Laura chasing after Hera, only to have her run into Caprica and Gaius's arms. What that white light means, I don't know, but I'm hoping it's not death.

- Ew, Cavil no, get your creepy toaster ass off Galactica.

- Wait, what - Laura gets her? But Hera doesn't run into Laura's arms in the Opera House, she runs into Caprica's. Oh boy.

- AUGH WHAT THE HELL? SOMEONE PUT A LEASH ON HERA AGATHON, OKAY?

- Aaaand the vision is true - Laura and Athena are searching, but Hera runs to Gaius and Caprica. I swear to God, if the Opera House is CIC, I'm going to freak, because that's where they're headed.

- OH MY GOD. WHAT DID I SAY?! OH MY GOD, IT HAPPENS, THE FIVE ARE UP IN THE RAFTERS LIKE IN BALTAR AND CAPRICA'S ORIGINAL OPERA HOUSE VISION.

- OH MY GOD. OH MY FRAKKING GOD. BILL AND CAPRICA AND GAIUS AND THE FIVE, FACING OFF AGAINST CAVIL, WHO'S GOT A GUN TO HERA'S HEAD. GAIUS FRAKKING BALTAR BEING BADASS AND AWESOME AND STANDING UP TO CAVIL FOR HERA. Callis, you are fucking amazing - speechifying at a time like this and having there be a POINT to it.

- Ohhhh, Dylan again! "How do you know that this force, this God, is on your side, Doctor?" "I don't." Because well, what if Judas Iscariot had God on his side?

- SAUL. OH MY GOD, SAUL. "We'll give you resurrection. You give us the girl, we'll give you resurrection."

- Oh, wow. What an end to part two - Gaius Baltar and Saul Tigh united in a common purpose, bringing the war to an end. And Cavil tells his forces to stand down.

- . . . it occurs to me that I should shut this the hell off right now, shouldn't I? Only Helo and Boomer are dead, the peace has been established, Hera is safe, Laura and Bill, Lee and Kara, Gaius and Caprica, Saul and Ellen are together and happy. IT CANNOT POSSIBLY END THIS WELL.

- OH SAUL, YOU CAN ALWAYS BE COUNTED ON TO BE HYSTERICALLY AND INAPPROPRIATELY AWESOME. "For a moment, we're going to know everything there is to know about one another." "Looking forward to THAT."

- "Hey I don't mean to rush you, but you're keeping two civilizations waiting!" Oh, Cavil, you got your inappropriate and hilarious sense of humor from Daddy, didn't you?

- OH SHIT. TORY'S KILLING OF CALLY IS GOING TO ROYALLY FUCK THIS UP, ISN'T IT?

- . . . well, fuck, Tory. THAT'S why you don't go around using Laura's airlock on people. It breaks entire political alliances and gets you KILLED.

- OMIGOD, RACETRACK'S NUKES. She's DEAD, but the turbulence makes her hand push the button at the exact critical moment.

- STARBUCK'S NUMBERS! I KNEW THEY'D BE IMPORTANT. WITH THE SONG AND THE NUMBERS CORRESPONDING TO THE NOTES - THEY'RE FRAKKING COORDINATES. Oh, Kara, honey. There IS some kind of way out of here, and you had it the whole time. Your father - Daniel, most likely - taught you well.

- Dorky pilots! Oh, heart - I don't even LIKE Lee/Kara, but I love their drunken conversations and doofy superhero noises and everything.

- Ohhh, she has lead the human race to their end - Earth. But, but, not a broken and nuclear wasteland?

- AKDGMNSLKFNGLSFGN BILL AND SAUL AND DOC COTTLE AND HOSHI AND BALTAR ON EARTH!

- HO SHIT. THEY LANDED IN PRIMITIVE TIMES?

- . . . oh, wow. I think I know what they're going to do. They're going to live the way the primitives do, and set themselves up as benevolent gods and what the frak, didn't anyone *read* Paradise Lost or any of the fey legends. It is a BAD PLAN to set yourselves up as gods. And they've even got the names - Hera, Athena, Apollo.

- Ohhhhh, oh wow. They really are doing this clean-slate thing, aren't they? Splitting up the Fleet, settling on Earth, giving the baseship to the Centaurions, and then having Sam link the empty Fleet ships together and pilot them into the sun.

- *cries* Oh, Kara, honey. Beautiful. Saying goodbye to Sam, ripping off her tags and putting them in the goo, telling him she loves him. And Sam's response - "See you on the other side."

- Ohhh, Bill. Last one off the deck, last Viper out of the bay.

- *cries* Sam Anders achieved perfection, finally. He kept Galactica alive until they found home, and then he sent her and the Fleet off into the sun, burning everything fresh to start anew.

- Galen, honey, oh, no. Oh, you absolutely would want to be away from people. It's a death sentence, but it's your choice. Like Boomer, you have to make it, eventually. And oh, Ellen, achieving that rare grace again that she occasionally has, understanding his choice. And Saul, understanding his killing Tory, because if it'd been Ellen, he'd have done the same thing.

- HAPPY TIGHS. YAY HAPPY TIGHS AT STRIP CLUBS, DRINKING AND CELEBRATING. DRUNKEN HAPPY TIGHS ARE THE BEST.

- NO NO NONONONONONONO LAURA CANNOT DIE. SHE'S SHAKING AND WEAK AND IT'S PROBABLY BEEN MORE THAN TWO DAYS AND SHE'S GOING TO DIE IN BILL'S ARMS, ISN'T SHE?

- *sniffles* Ohhhh, Bill and Laura bickering over what they're calling the planet, and it's Earth, because dammit, they need to put that journey behind them.

- Okay, I fucking lost it when Bill picks Laura up and carries her out to the Raptor to see the giraffes. I am typing this through streams of tears and I do not care who knows it. And Lee and Kara following and OH NO. NO NO NO NO. HE'S GOING TO DIE WITH HER, ISN'T HE? AND HE'S SAYING GOODBYE TO LEE AND KARA AND "WHADDAYA HEAR, STARBUCK?" "NOTHING BUT THE RAIN". AND OH, NONONONO ADAMAS. AND KARA TELLS HIM TO GO AND HE KISSES HER GOODBYE AND OH.

- OH FUCK, NO. HE'S NOT COMING BACK, LEE. HE'S GOING TO DIE WITH HER.

- RON, I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU. STOP IT. I LIKE THE PILOTS, AND I LIKE KARA'S NEWFOUND SERENITY, AND I LIKE LEE'S DAWNING COMPREHENSION, BUT ONE DOES NOT FLASHBACK TO ALMOST-SEX WHILE BILL AND LAURA ARE RUNNING OFF TO DIE TOGETHER!!!

- YES THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING METAPHOR WITH THE BIRD AND KARA DISAPPEARING, BUT LAURA IS STILL DYING.

- FUCKING FINALLY. LAURA GETS SOME ACTION ON THIS GODDAMN SHOW. YES, I KNOW SHE'S FRAKKING BILL, BUT SHE IS TOTALLY SMOKIN', HITTING ONE OF HER FORMER STUDENTS. YIKES.

- "We won't be doing this again. You can show yourself out." OH MY GOD, I WANT TO BE LAURA ROSLIN WHEN I GROW UP.

- MARY MCFRAKKINGDONNELL? I BOW TO YOUR UTTER AWESOME AND HOTTNESS. YOU ARE ROCKIN' THE TINY NEGLIGEE AND THE CIGARETTE AND THE YOUNGER MAN.

- Yes, that's *perfect*. That's what made her join Adar's campaign.

- BILL, DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE CABIN WHEN SHE'S JUST DIED RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. OHHHH, HE'S JUST LOOKED OVER, AND SHE'S DEAD, AND OH, GOD, THAT'S HIDEOUSLY PERFECT . . . OH, IN FACT, FUCK. THE SECOND NEAR-DEATH VISION CAME TRUE - HE MARRIES HER IN DEATH.

- HELO LIVES! HELO IS OKAY AND IS HOLDING HANDS WITH HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER IN AUSTRALIA OR AFRICA OR WHEREVER THE FRAK THEY ARE. OH, THIS ALMOST MAKES ME SMILE.

- Ohhhhh, Caprica and Gaius and how far they've come. From mutually assured seduction and destruction to partnership, love, and admitting out loud you're nothing but a farmboy from Aerilon.

- All right - the last five minutes? With Ron's cameo and Head!Baltar and Head!Six talking about it all happened before, and it will all happen again, and Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower" playing? Pure and utter crack which feels more like a movie ending than a show ending, but I don't HATE it. I can actually just ignore it the way I ignore anything in Deathly Hallows after the last chapter.

- . . . you know, I think I've figured out who Head!Baltar and Head!Six are. They're either Lucifer and Beelzebub, the two highest of the fallen angels, or they're the anthropomorphic personifications of Desire and Destruction (the meaner, less Gaiman one). Discuss.

Long overdue meta-post on "The Wrestler"

2009-02-07T06:52:58Z

So, yesdrizella has finally posted her Roundtable Discussion of The Wrestler, and I've been sitting on these ramblings ever since I watched the movie because I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to hear them. I'm keeping the entry open, in case anyone not on my flist wants to read it, but if you're not a fan, you probably will have a big giant WTF face at this.

The Wrestler

- Right from the opening credits, you can tell that this is a film that gets wrestling. The first thing you hear is a ring bell, and then the music kicks in, and the announcer (I don't think it's the Fink - not when Fink works for WWE - but it sure as hell is channelling him), and finally the crowd chanting "RAM RAM RAM RAM!". And the camera pans over 80's wrestling cards and magazines (the "Enquirer" indeed, but the one mag really looks like an Observer), set to this fantastically driving beat. "Bang Your Head" has never been a more perfect entrance song.

- Basically, Randy "The Ram" Robinson is part Roddy Piper, part Ric Flair, part Diamond Dallas Page, and part Hulk Hogan. I can see the "Real American" parallels, and from what I hear, his personal life resembles Roddy and Ric's. And oh, awesome, his big opponent is "the Sheik from the East, the Ayatollah" - an amalgam of the Iron Sheik and the Original Sheik.

- Interesting, there seems to be a Hogan-Andre at Wrestlemania parallel, and I would expect nothing less: Randy's huge win over the Ayatollah with a slam and his finisher, and winning the belt.

- Oh my God, the "20 years later" jump-cut just guts you: look at what he's become. He's older, he's exhausted, a shadow of his former self, sitting in folding chair in a kindergarden classroom because that's all the dressing room they've got. His tattoo and long hair - totally anachronistic, but he's got to hold onto the image of who the Ram used to be - just bring it home. I really love that we never see the promoter's face - he's just a jersey-wearing jerkwad offering feeble praise and a crap payday.

- Further show-don't-tell perfection? Randy's limp in the very next scene, showing how beat-up he is, and the fact that it's just another part of the job for him.

- I think my heart hurts, and I'm barely 3 minutes in, but oh. I've sat in exactly that gym, before, during, and after shitty independent shows. I've duct-taped the ring together and watched my friends run the ropes before the shows, and hauled canvas and wooden beams afterward, in between running ice, water, and painkillers to the boys. From what Randy's set up to be, this isn't something he should ever have to resort to.

- Markout! They name-check the Spectrum!

- Oh, how heartbreaking is it to see that he's got an action-figure of himself on his dashboard? Every time he drives to or from one of those rinky-dink little shows, he's got to look at himself in his prime.

- Just, the little tiny details that they put into this are absolute perfection. The fact that he forgets to take the tape off his fingers. The trouble he has with climbing up and down steps. The fact that you can hear the exhaustion and fifteen miles of bad road in his voice. The fact that the very first time you ever see his face is when he's locked out of his trailer and has to undress and sleep in his van.

- Roarke is fucking fantastic, man. He's even got the ritualistic aspect of wrestling down: there's a certain way every wrestler gets dressed and undressed from shows. It's to amp them up and cool them down, and they never deviate from it. And Randy's set order is earring, right wrist tape, left wrist tape, right elbow tape, left elbow tape, dry-swallow painkillers, crack open the beer, and drink it while he stares at his clippings. This man has done this exact routine every single night of his career, and you can tell.

- Ohhhhh. The kids wake him up, and you think he's going to go after them, but they adore him, and he's his old glory hound self around them. Play-fighting, tousling hair, wrestling in the dirt with them. And oh, that's why he's locked out - can't pay his rent.

- Jesus, even his slang is up to the task - the way he calls every dude over twenty "brother", in that signature slur that every wrestler, ever, has.

- The more I watch this, the more I swear he's in Philadelphia. I know that gym, from the opening scene (it's either Pine St. gym or the one near Rizzo Rink, and they both host indy wrestling), I thought I recognized Oregon Ave while he was driving, and he works his day job at an Acme, which is a Mid-Atlantic thing.

- Of course he's a schmuck hauling boxes for a grocery store. The sad reality is that if you're even a moderately-successful wrestler, you've never done anything else. And you get shit for being a wrestler at your "real job", because c'mon, how immature and dumb do you have to be to throw yourself around a ring in your underwear?

- Oh, I love the little bit you get to see of the boys in the makeshift "locker room" at the hall they've rented out. It's the first time in the movie so far that you see Randy smiling and relaxed - because these are his brothers. They know what he's going through. And o hai thar Romeo Rosolli and Ron Killings and Ian Rotten and Claudio Castagnoli and Austin Aries. Nice to see you all.

- Omigod, there's an Anderson! "Andy Anderson", who looks suspiciously like CW, but I don't think is actually CW - too young. And two Samoans - you've always gotta have a couple Maivias in your locker room. Incidentally, the booker looks like Nunzio/Little Guido. I don't think it's him, though.

- Ahh, so not PA, as Randy says he saw Tommy in PA a while back. Maybe Jersey, then?

- Man, you don't know how really fucking awesome it is to have match-planning captured on camera. Seriously, put all the rumors of "wrestling is fake" and "wrestling is scripted" to rest - the boys talk the match out, maybe they run some ideas past each other to see what flies, but it's not like they're pantomiming or some shit.

- What's actually even more awesome is that they don't dumb the language down. "We'll get up on the ropes, you bring us both in the hard way, then we get up, double drop kick, and we powder out again." Smart, concise, and exactly what they'd say IRL. You don't need to be a wrestling fan to know one team is standing outside the ring on the ropes, gets thrown inside the ring, they get kicked, and they slide out of the ring again.

- Randy really shows his experience in the scene with Tommy, where he's quietly encouraging him to come up with match ideas, wanting Tommy to look just as good as he does. That's a good worker, and it absolutely didn't have to be a part of his character. I like that he's conscientious of the younger guys, that he wants to put Tommy over.

- Man, they are really, really not shying away from a full, balls-out portrayal of what wrestling is, are they? They show Randy cutting and prepping a blade (half a razor blade, taped to his wrist tape), and while the non-fans don't know what's coming, if you're a fan, you know exactly what it's being used for. And that is a no-no - blading "doesn't exist" according to WWE, even though we all know it does.

- Randy at gorilla, pumping himself up like it's a huge, sold-out arena? Loooove. And it's just another school gym, but he's hype and he's connecting with the fans. And oh, the old school ECW fangirl in me adores the way the fan passes the steel chair to Randy and he bounces it off his own head. Very Sandman of him.

- Detail, again: Look at the spatter on the mat - like the canvas hasn't been wiped totally clean after someone got color in a previous match. Fucking perfect.

- Oh, wow. Give Roarke all the credit in the world - he can work. I'm watching this even more clearly than I would a normal match, pausing and rewinding, and he's fucking spotless. I mean, sure, it's a movie, and you can do fifteen retakes until no one fucks up, but you can tell Aranofsky didn't have to. Roarke locks up, does takedowns, and generally works like one of the boys, and it never looks pieced-together from close-ups of Roarke to the "stunt wrestler" doing the moves. That's Roarke, backflipping out of a headlock, and clotheslining Tommy Rotten.

- AHAHAHAHA, the crowd's chanting "you still suck" at Tommy. I approve.

- And yeah, they went there. Tommy bounces Randy's head off the exposed turnbuckle, then Randy blades while Tommy is screaming at the ref. Slips the blade out, lets his hair cover his face, and nicks himself right on the forehead.

- YEAH! Fucking awesome - Roarke pulls off a standing superkick right into Tommy, who he's got in a wristlock. That, my friends, is flexibility.

- Oh my God. That's just - no. I don't think any wrestling fan, even a year after the Incident, can even stand to watch a movie where the main character - who is clearly fucked up and in pain - deliver a diving headbutt almost identical to the one Chris Benoit used. The "Ram Jam" is slightly different than Benoit's - no swandive arms, very little altitude, with his fists atop his head to get a lot of the impact - but still. Knowing what happened to a guy who did that in real life just feels like a gut-punch to watch.

- Yeah, I was right, the match with Randy and Ayatollah was at the Garden. Not exactly like Hogan-Andre - that was at the Silverdome, IIRC - but close enough and meaningful enough to any wrestling fan.

- Dude, the bouncer outside the strip club strongly resembles Viscera. And he's buying steroids/painkillers off Randy - anyone shocked?

- Wow, Marisa Tomei is not that old. And ew, that's creepy - calling a stripper "Mommy". I approve of Ram running the little punks off. But eurgh. That is simultaneously not-surprising and sad, that Randy's talking up his grand match at the Garden against Ayatollah, when he won the belt back in '89, to his stripper girlfriend with double pierced nipples while she's giving him a lap dance.

- And now that I've seen Marisa Tomei naked, really not that old. Although speaking of old, he's totally stealing the two-by-four with a nail in it war wound story, as well as the broken clavicle story from Mick Foley.

- Augh, quoting Passion of the Christ at your wrestler boyfriend is really beyond creepy.

- Oh, nice one. Randy buying more painkillers and pills from a steroid hound, and casually name-drops HGH. And then the guy asks about Percs, Vicodin, Oxycontin, Demerol, Viagra, and blow in quick succession, saying he can hook Randy up, because he wants to "look out" for him. And then there's Randy injecting HGH into his ass in the shower. Bet Vince loved that scene.

- Ahahaha, Randy's hairstylist is speaking Korean, and he's speaking English back, and they're in total sync.

- "Jersey Dollar Store" - yep, we're in NJ. Perfect, for the accent he's got and the indies he's working with. OH MY GOD, I JUST GOT WHAT THEY WERE DOING THERE. Randy and one of the boys are going weapon-shopping in the dollar store around the corner from the gym. ECW shoutout!

- *falls over laughing* The pan broke! Randy wallops the dude with a frying pan, and the thing just snaps off.

- CZW! The Alhambra! *marks out* And Necro Butcher, who's looking really, really old. Oh, wow, they also don't shy away from hardcore, with Necro and Randy talking about upping the blood content to make up for the fact that their bodies are shot.

- Okay, while they don't show a ton of the hardcore match, they don't need to. You see it all - broken tables, barbed wire, ladders, thumbtacks, and blood all over the damn place - in just the last few seconds of the match, where Ram breaks a pane of glass over Necro's head and pins him with a foot on his chest because he doesn't want to get any more thumbtacks or glass on him. And that is why I could never watch CZW, because while ECW was hardcore, it wasn't as fucking scary and bloody as CZW.

- MEANIE! MEEEEEANIE! You cannot miss the short-shorts and the blue hair.

- How much do I love the fact that every single time a match ends and someone - whether it's Randy or another of the boys - goes back to the locker room, the rest of the boys applaud and congratulate him? Fantastic.

- Oh, crowd, I wholeheartedly agree with your flashback-chants toward Necro: "YOU SICK FUCK! YOU SICK FUCK!" Stapling a goddamn dollar bill to his forehead, indeed.

- Ohshit. I spoke too soon - they do show you a ton of the hardcore match. And there is stapling and barbed-wire-wrapped crutches and trashcans and blading with a fork oh my god. They absolutely do not shy from showing the aftermath, too - with a drugged-up Randy getting glass pulled from his back, a huge gash in his ribs where you can see the flesh ripped apart, and one of the boys mentioning needing to crazy-glue his arm shut (Sabu reference!).

- AHHH, THE PROSTHETIC LEG! Was that a Raven and Tommy match, or was that Cactus and Tommy? I think I remember Foley telling the story in Have a Nice Day, but I don't have my copy with me to check.

- And another famous ECW chant: "FUCK YOU NECRO! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP"

- Oh, that's fucking chilling. The slow pan around Randy when the medic says "okay Ram, you're good to take a shower", and you see all the stitched-up gashes and plastered-over holes in his skin, and the dried blood in his hair in horrific detail. And he's just sitting there, hands over his face, shaking. And he finally, finally gets to his feet, hobbles over to the entrance to the shower, and pukes before collapsing. The fact that he's come to this.

- Oh man, now that's some balls right there. The fact that Roarke is in a hospital gown, struggling to his feet, and you see his ass hanging out like it usually does in real life with hospital gowns.

- I don't know what hits you harder, the fact that he's just had a heart attack and almost died, or the fact that he can never wrestle again because of it.

- . . . no, it's that no one picks him up from the hospital, it's freezing, and he has to take a cab to South Philly to pick up his van at the Alhambra parking lot.

- Ah, changed your name to be more of a "real American", did you, Randy? Robin Ramczinsky isn't nearly as good on a marquee. Terry Bollea, Richard Fliehr, and Martin Lundy can sympathize.

- Holy shit, I just realized that Randy wears a hearing aid outside the ring. How the hell did I miss that?

- And it begins: taking the pills, sleeping without drinking three beers to calm his nerves, wearing his glasses to read the labels, taking showers without getting his scar/staples wet, and realizing that he's mortal. It's a rough break made rougher by the fact that he has no one.

- I am utterly charmed by him playing "Wrestle Jam" on old school Nintendo with one of the kids. Unfortunately, it's just more proof that Randy is a lonely man living out his past glories.

- Oh, this jogging-through-the-woods can't end well at all. And I thought not. At least all he had to do was collapse against a tree after five minutes and walk back.

- Awww, I kind of, against my better judgment, like Cassidy. She's the worst of stereotypes - a stripper! with a heart of gold! dating an older man! - but she's good for Randy. And speaking of stereotypes - of course he has a daughter that hates him. Because that's all women are in the wrestling world - they're sluts or they're the golden daughter kept away from the evils of the business. I can sense that there is some pseudo-feminist ranting in my future.

- *falls over laughing* Oh, how fucking poetic is it that Randy's daughter's name is Stephanie? I just, that's not even trying.

- Wow, he doesn't even have a cell phone. He has to go to a pay phone to call her.

- The scene with Stephanie and Randy (*snrrk* *snicker* *cackle* Oh, come on, we all were thinking it, and we're all twelve, mentally.) where she rants and raves at him for blackmailing her into taking care of him and how he wasn't there for her while she was growing up? Literally the only scene so far that hasn't been top-notch, both in dialogue and acting. Even Roarke seems off his game. And I expect better out of Evan Rachel Wood.

- Oh, you moron. Your pride isn't going to let you mention to that promoter buddy of yours that you can't wrestle anymore (why do I keep hearing that in Triple H's voice, directed to Shawn Michaels at the start of their 2002 feud?).

- *cringes* Oh, those conventions. "Legends of Wrestling", whom no one's heard from in twenty years, sitting in some bingo hall hawking Polaroids for 20 bucks. I don't know what's worse - the "convention" or the fanny pack. No, definitely the convention, with Jimmy Valiant, a bunch of really sad-looking bastards, and a guy who looks like Pat Patterson peeing into a bag.

- Ooh, I like the parallels between Cassidy and Randy - in her own way, she's just as old and useless as he is. And hey, she's taking him vintage shopping, which is rather adorable. 10 bucks says they find a Randy "The Ram" Robinson shirt.

- Hah, I was right, he does work at an Acme. "Weekends, isn't that when you sit on other dudes' faces?" Powerbomb the little cretin, Randy.

- That sign next to the vintage shop says "Jericho Furniture". I choose to see that as an awesome in-joke.

- "I think Stephanie's a lesbian, does that make a difference?" I'm torn being headdesking over his typical insensitivity, cracking up at how funny it is, or being absolutely not surprised that he's a wrestler and a homophobe.

- Oh, that green thing is hideous. Bless Cassidy for showing some tact, but c'mon. The correct response is "no, it's not rock-and-roll, it's disco, it went out with the 70's, the color is eye-watering, and she isn't twelve. Take her shopping yourself and let her pick out what she wants".

- Omigod, he's such a dork, dancing to 80's metal in a bar in the middle of the day. Like Cassidy, I am inexplicably charmed. Too bad they're both tone-deaf. I approve of their music discussion (even if he can shut the hell up about Cobain and Pearl Jam).

- Hah, I love how she's all "oh wait, one beer", chugs it, and then leaves.

- ACME! I was right!

- Holy fuck. The crowd building up as he walks from the upstairs office, chanting "Ram! Ram!" as he approaches the curtain (because a curtain is a curtain, no matter where you are, except they want you to remember his pre-match psyching up) and then him doing his gorilla routine before he goes out to face the crowd (which is a crowd, demanding and expecting a certain presence no matter where you are). Brilliant.

- Oh Randy, you still know how to work the crowd. Flirty with the girls, joking with the guys, conscientious with the old folks. I kind of adore him telling the geeky guy to go long and throwing the egg salad like a football.

- Damn, those are real NJTransit buses. I love that they're getting the little details right - I hate when they obviously film a movie or show in Vancouver or LA or NYC and try and pass it off as Philly or Baltimore or NJ because they assume that no one will know the difference and that all East Coast cities look alike.

- Good move, Randy, buying her something other than the hideous green monstrosity.

- Heee, Ocean City Boardwalk! God, I miss that place. Steve and Anthony and I intended to go there this summer, but we'd get to Brigantine, meet up with people, and then it'd be too late to drive to Ocean City and we'd have to be home for work the next day.

- Oh, you utter fucking douche. Sure, you'd try all those things to forget about your family and obligations, because nothing was as important as wrestling, but you do not TELL her that.

- I do love Stephanie kicking in the door on the old casino. It's honestly the first moment in the movie for me where she's not just reacting to her father. From the start, she's coded as "the reluctant daughter", and everything she does is reactionary. Kicking in the door she does for herself, to indulge her own curiosity, and god, it could not come soon enough.

- Okay, fine, I am utterly charmed by Randy and Stephanie waltzing in the old, burned out ballroom/casino. I love that she cracks on his bow, and that they're actually good dancers.

- *sigh* He would go and start a pissing contest when Pam refuses to date him b/c he's a customer and then won't dance for him. Just - are you capable of seeing her as a person? Do you understand that legally, she can't date a customer, and that because she considers you a friend who might like her for reasons not involving her body, she's a little reluctant to dance for you? God, get over yourself and treat her like a friend, if you remember what those are.

- Truth! Yeah, Randy, I understand, watching Ron Killings wrestle after you've been involuntarily retired is probably like getting kicked repeatedly in the nads by a beautiful woman. And can I reiterate again how much I adore the "backstage" scenes of the boys, and how supportive they are of their own?

- "Party"? Like we all didn't know she meant blow. Seriously, Randy, I really don't think you should do blow after a triple-bypass. Or fuck ring rats, even those who strongly resemble Jillian Hall. Because you end up in a strange girl's room, dressed like a fireman. And you forget about your dinner date with your daughter because you're sleeping it off.

- Do not piss off your daughter's overprotective girlfriend, asshat. It does not endear you to her any more than making her wait in a restaurant for two hours just like you always used to make her do. There's a point where she'll stop forgiving you.

- And that point would be now. Brava, Miss Stephanie.

- Oh, Randy, we've all had those whiny old broads. And shit, random fat guy at deli counter, shut your fucking piehole. If you recognize someone slightly-sorta-famous working a shit job, don't fucking tell them. Just leave them be. We've all gotta pay the bills, and your assholish "hey! I know you! Let me recount all your past glories" behavior makes the rest of us smart people want to take a two-by-four to your head.

- Pain is cathartic, isn't it, Randy? That's all you know - it's all you'll ever know and all you ever think you want to know. Physical pain, you can deal with, because you're used to it. Physical pain, you can take painkillers and Oxycontin and booze and blow to deal with. Emotional pain just doesn't compute. And what an exit - go big or go home, right?

- And now the poor-man's training regimen. Dying his own hair; shaving his own body, using tanning creams instead of tanning beds. "Balls to the Wall" indeed.

- Ring of Honor! Nigel McGuinness! Cat Miller! Awesome. I'd like it more if they'd filmed the show at the Northeast Armory - ROH's usual arena in Philly - but I will take what I can get.

- Ohhh, "Sweet Child of Mine" for his swan song. Nice.

- This match. I mean, his speech was nice, and I like him and "Ayatollah" doing the hug of respect and then the heel turning on the face, but oh, the match is just amazing. The way the camera goes out of its way to catch more of the reactions and the dialogue between them than the actual moves. The way you're deliberately kept a little unsure as to what's "real" and what's "worked". The byplay - Bob's "I forgot how much fun this was!" and Randy's "Asshole!" - and the way they're calling it all on the fly. The - OH MY GOD! I'm sorry, I just had a Joey Styles moment watching Randy do a suicide plancha OVER THE TOP ROPE. And then the headscissors takedown from the push-up position. And ohhh, the moment when Randy's heart can't take it, and he collapses. Bob says "I'll take it from here" and "pin me!" and of course, Randy can't do it without his big finisher. Go big or go home, remember?

- Bob's "we gave 'em enough!" just breaks my heart.

- And even though I'm already crying, I can't help but cry more at the shot of the empty curtain - because Pam can't watch this. It almost makes me feel like she's disrespected him, and the movie seems to back me up. The women can't watch the sacrifice these men make - the only female fans are either rats or nameless, faceless, members of the crowd cheering on like good little sheep. There are no female wrestlers, no female valets even. There are barely ring girls. Women in this movie are strippers or daughters, and there's a shitload of meta to be had on that once I stop wibbling.

- The end - god, what can you say? You know he's going to be in terrible shape, if he's even alive. He's broken beyond repair anyway, and this is the only match he still had something to prove with. It's painful and heartbreaking, and goddammit, Bruce Springsteen's song is making me cry again.

- Interesting, in the credits, Sabu, Dory Funk Jr, Gabe Sapolsky, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Johnny Rodz, and Jay Reso are among the "wrestling community" thanked. I'm not sure why I noticed that, but yeah, you can see a lot of Sabu and Funk and Snuka in Randy. Jake Roberts, too.

*sniff* Now, to watch something less heartbreaky - like oh, I don't know, someone killing small animals.